N is for Nylons

I am fairly certain that the man who invented pantyhose--or nylons as they were called in the good old days--also killed his mother with a shovel and then kept her propped up in a wingback chair in the attic. He simply would have to be that warped when it came to women to create them. I swore off of nylons back in the early nineties, it was perhaps the only good decision I made during that period. Besides being maddening to put on, and horribly uncomfortable, they are downright dangerous. Because of their proximity to the privates and lack of breathabilty, by wearing them you are just inviting bacteria and fungus to grow. But, if you have drawer full, never fear. They don't have to go to waste. 

Here are six interesting ways to use nylons that won't run you the risk of getting a yeast infection. 

1) Temporary Tattoo- Find a pair of nylons that match your skin. Cut a section from the leg, decorate it with magic markers, then slide it on your arm to create the illusion of having a sleeve of tattoos. 

2) Save Soap- Cut off one leg and use it to store all the little soap nubbins, then keep it by the sink to wash your hands. 

3) Find Lost Earrings - Put a layer of nylons over the end of the hose and then run it across the floor. It will suck up and save your tiny, lost objects. 

4) Pack Like a Pro - It's now common knowledge that in order to save space when packing, you should roll, not fold your clothes. But to save even more, cut sections from your nylons and slip the rolled item of clothing inside to keep it compact. 

5) Get Gauzy - To give photos that old-fashioned, filtered look, just secure a square of nylons over the camera lens with a rubber band. 

6) Potpourri Pouches - Keep your drawers and closets smelling sweet by cutting off the feet of your nylons, filling them with potpourri, and the tying them off at the end.