My Unbalanced Dance

I try to tell myself

That I’m able

To balance the various parts

Of my life

But this appears to be

Another instance of

Me lying to myself

On the whole

I suppose I do manage

A bit of balance

Between working myself

Damn near to death

And being completely still

Due to exhaustion

But I don’t think

That’s quite what people mean

When they talk about balance

The one thing I’ve learned

Is that most people will do

Whatever is necessary

To if not thrive, survive

Doing what needs done to get by

In this regard, I’m like most

So I often feel

That I don’t have much choice

When it comes to balance

I have a choice to either

Pay my bills or not

I suppose I could make coffee

And breakfast at home more often

Or pack even cheaper lunches

But I struggle to get out the door

As it is and I’m good at rationalizing

So I’m lying to myself

That I’m balancing my life

While rationalizing my spending

On a $3 breakfast

So many issues

So little time

And the hamster wheel

Keeps singing its squeaky song

If I’m laughing

While I’m working

Myself to death

And limiting my tears

To cataclysmic events

And I hug my kids

And cater to my cat

And my words flow out

And the words of others flow in

Is my ship really too unbalanced

To sail?

Will you object

To my floating along

On this current

I’m calling my life?

And if my squeaky wheeled boat

Should happen to wobble

While I try to simultaneously

Run in the rat race

And paddle this canoe

I will have to re-examine

My priorities

But until that time comes

I’m throwing balls

And cliches

Into the air

And at the wall

Juggling and singing

Sinking and swimming

Dancing my unbalanced dance