10 Ways to Get on Your Cat’s Good Side
I know the last thing you humans ever want is your cat’s disapproval. And that is a legitimate concern, when so many of your gaffes get the airplane ears of disdain. But don’t worry, I am here to help you out with 10 ways to stay on your cat’s good side. You’re welcome.
1. Stop staring! We cats really hate you humans looking at us all the time. If another cat or other animal does this, it’s a challenge and a hostile gesture. Granted, if we have lived with you for a long time, we know you are not trying to challenge us, but it’s still very rude and a bad habit. The best thing you can do is hang out with us and not look at us so much! Watch how we do it and mimic that. It’s really that easy.
2. Always use unscented litter. Seriously, that scented stuff stinks. Don’t tell me you think it smells good because you are just fooling yourself. And it really hurts a kitty’s sensitive nose to have to inhale that disgusting odor every time we want to relieve ourselves. Natural is always better.
3. Don’t bother punishing us. Put down that spray bottle! We cats do what we want, and no amount of punishment is going to teach us any different. “Punishment” to a cat means a) wait until the human isn’t around to do whatever caused the punishment, and b) humans are mean and confusing creatures. If you don’t want us to do something — then come up with a more attractive alternative. If your first alternative doesn’t work, it means it wasn’t more attractive.
4. Give us really awesome treats. Yeah, those crunchy things in bags from the pet store are okay, but we cats would really prefer something like shredded chicken, raw chicken livers, some nibbles of sardine (if fish is permissible in your cat’s diet) or a few choice cuts of beef. Real food, as long as it’s not spiced up or cooked with onions or another ingredient that’s cat-toxic, is really the best treat of all. My human feeds me KFC by hand! (Binga gets it tossed at her — she’s a finger biter!)
5. Let us keep our ratty scratching posts! One of the worst things a human does is toss out a cat’s favorite, well-loved scratching post and replace it with a brand new one. The new one usually smells weird and it just doesn’t have that comfortable, lived-in feel of the old one. That doesn’t mean never buy us new scratchers. Definitely do, but let us get used to them in our own time — while still enjoying the old one.
6. Feed us on plates or wide bowls. There is nothing more unpleasant than having your whiskers hemmed in while you are trying to enjoy a meal. Really, our whiskers are extremely sensitive and having them touch the sides of a small bowl is more annoying than you can imagine. So feed us on a flatter surface, or at least in a bowl that is low and wide, so our whiskers have room to spread out.
7. Give us front row seats for Bird TV. How would you like it if your television was placed really high up and you couldn’t get a decent view? Or if it was half covered by a piece of furniture? So make sure there is a ledge or a table (with cat bed, of course), right at the level where we can sit and watch the birds do their thing. Even better, make sure you add a few bird feeders right by the window too — bird actors perform better when they are well compensated.
8. Give us vertical space! This is especially important if you live in a small apartment and have more than one cat. Most of us cats love being up high — it makes us feel on top of the world. And with multi-cat families, creating vertical space is like adding territory. It’s as easy as putting up some secure shelves, or staggered bookcases. Fasten down some carpet on the surfaces so we have something to grab onto when we jump.
9. Learn how we like to be touched — and stick to it. I know you humans aren’t really dumb (well, most of you), yet you still insist on petting us in ways that at best aren’t terribly interesting or at worst are downright annoying. It’s pretty clear when we enjoy what you’re doing — we are purring with our eyes partially or completely shut and we’re totally relaxed. We’re not tensing up, rippling our skin or staring with dilated eyes. Cheek and chin skritches are generally safe — you can work your way down from there. If we start tensing up, purring and vocalizing at the same time or flipping our tails, that means you are done and please stop now.
10. Play our favorite game with us! You do know our favorite game right? It’s called Kill, Kill, Kill! You play the prey and we play the stealthy predator. There are infinite versions of this game, depending on if you are using a wand toy, tossing a catnip mousie or a pipe cleaner, or your feet under the comforter. You should play this game with us every day. It keeps our minds and bodies active — and maybe yours too.
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” I have answers to many annoying problems in my two award-winning books! Visit my author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of my awesome Dear Sparkle books!
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