Monday Musings w/Jade Lee

I am in the midst of my writing retreat. The good news? I’ve written around 25 pages a day and finished the rough of my manuscript, The Duke’s Cunning Plan which will come out in the fall of next year. (I hope).  My other co-retreat people are also being massively productive. BTW, I have the scoop on Elizabeth Hoyt’s newest Maiden Lane book, but I’m not sharing.  WAHAHAHA And Cindy Dees has finished not one, not two, but three books. Yes, we hate her but only in the I-want-to-be-you kind of way.

So here are today’s questions. Ready? Winner gets a squidge and a book! (Unless they want a hotpad bowl instead!)  What am I talking about? Well, here’s a picture.

When Cindy and Elizabeth saw my hotpad bowls, they:

a. Thought it was an amazing idea and immediately paid me $100 to make them one.

b. Laughed until their sides hurt at the idea of me doing a craft project.

c. Picked it up and said WTF is this? And why would you buy HOW MANY of them?

d. Asked me when I started cooking.

e. Immediately renamed them travel bowls.

Answer: A – I wish.  No, it’s really B. And C, D, and E.  So really if you answered anything but the first, you’re right. And you know what? It’s day 4 of the retreat and they’re still fracking laughing.  HARUMPH! Also, they are now officially named travel bowls (because they hold your earrings, rings, and stuff in hotels so they don’t fall down the sink)

Cindy Dees just express crushing disappointment in me. Can you guess why?

a. I won’t let her make her own travel bowl.

b. I accidentally dropped the hottub cover on her iPad. Yes, she did break my arms in retaliation.

c. I don’t track metrics on my goodreads contests. In fact, aren’t metrics like a bad way to talk about kilometers?

d. I forgot to buy chocolate at the Chocolate Monkey.  Oops…

Answer: C! She has signed a travel bowl, but sadly has no interest in making one. I dropped the hottub cover on her phone but it miraculously survived so my arms are not broken. And forget to buy chocolate? HAHAHA!  I even took a #squidge picture there. And btw, this was HER idea! The caption is: Squidge had an accident…

Cindy also had alternate suggestions for some of my ideas. WARNING: Offensive material below.  They were:

a. For the squidge picture, she wanted to caption it: Squidge Squeezings.

b. For my book title, instead of The Duke’s Cunning Plan, she (and Damon Suede) wanted The Duke’s Cunning Linguist

c. For the hotpad…er, travel bowl, she asked: Is that a weenie warmer or a penis quilt?

Perhaps four days into a writing retreat, none of us should be writing blogs. What stays in Pigeon Forge really ought to stay here. But oh well. I’m going to hit send because I’m done writing for the day! BOOK IS DONE!  WOO HOO!

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