The Newest Bar Scene ......

I hate to admit it, because initially I had such high hopes, but it’s beginning to feel like this particular online dating site is nothing more than a bar with the added convenience of being able to take a seat from the comfort of your own home ….. or anywhere else technology is permitted. At least sites like Match.com and eHarmony require you to fill out exhaustive pages of questionnaires – which at first glance seem like a royal pain – but in reality forces you to get in touch with yourself and what it is you’re looking for in a potential match. Zoosk, however, allows you to be up and running with far less effort in that they only allow you a very limited amount of space to convey your thoughts about yourself and what it is you’re seeking in a partner, but this is not why I signed up for Zoosk. I did so, because when I did an initial online search for the most popular dating site, Zoosk landed at the top of the list. So I signed up for a thirty-day trial in order to see what the buzz was about.

For the un- indoctrinated, this site is more or less an online chat room. You download their version of Messenger, and whenever you go online for ‘any’ purpose whatsoever, other members are instantly made aware of your online status. So forget the fact that most of my work is done online these days and when I’m in that mode, my last objective is to be put on display. Nonetheless I am constantly bombarded with pop-up windows for chat requests, winks and messages of varying lengths and degrees. Don’t get me wrong …. the vast majority of gentleman are both kind and respectful, and many are just lonely individuals reaching out to others at a distance in an effort to fill that void, but this is not ‘me’. I am far too busy to go about dating in any typical sense, and therefore sought this site as a means of cutting through the kind of red tape involved in serial dating, but this site has just managed to add to my already overwhelming sense of responsibility by giving me that much more to do within the course of my day.

Moreover, the sense of aggression some men exhibit under the cover of communicating online equates with that guy who has sat in a bar for several hours and managed to down a half a dozen or more mixed drinks. Thus now I have the advantage of being able to feel objectified without ever having to leave home. In conclusion, if my thirty-day experiment manages to make it past ten, then even I will be surprised.

In the end I suppose I remain a believer in the online dating experience as a means to expose – and I use that word figuratively – yourself to people you might otherwise never have the ability to meet, but my advice would be to ‘go the distance’ by actually taking the time to fill out the questionnaires, and then be willing to jump through the various hoops of answering the five questions back and forth in order to ‘test your compatibility’ prior to moving to the level of speaking in real time. I suppose that’s why both Match and eHarmony can claim such high rates of success to begin with.

As for me, my story may still have that chance at a fairytale ending ….. following several of weeks of not communicating at all, my ex and I had a lovely, hour-long talk last night, and it seems those fires still burn bright on both sides …… and though no one can know the future, at least I feel more hopeful than I have in weeks.