The King Laments (part two)

In my heart, I thought . . . pleasure,
now there's the thing to try.
Enjoy myself fully.
I laughed till I cried,
Thinking foolishness was the thing.
Find out what is meaningful . . . but
Shadows of meaning. Fading.

I tried drinking. I thought,
A taste of the wild side,
Some wine, some fun,
some late nights and
harmless mindless foolishness.
Think some great thoughts.
Consider the effects wisely.
I wanted to see what was worth anything at all.
Out of all the things men do, what was worthwhile?
For the length of a man's life, what really works?
I found shadows of meaning, fading, and a hangover.

I tried being a productive man,
Suit and tie.
Presidential and finery so fine.
I built things, houses, gardens, fields of crops,
Ran pipes, and watered fields of trees,
Grow food, I thought, that's the thing,
The very thing everyone needs.

I began to collect things that make a man.
Servants, money, power,
Herds of animals, cars,
The list goes on, and on.

Treasures heaping in my warehouse.
Things fit for a king, [and I am one:].
Singers, musicians, and women,
Let me tell you about the women!
My book was full of phone numbers
and email addresses
Of the most gorgeous and pleasurable . . .
God's creation, halleluiah!

I was the envy of all men, everywhere.
I would have envied myself, but I am king,
A collection of life beyond compare.
My value was sky high, and I felt I was
Better than anyone,
And, with all this heady stuff,
I was still as wise as I could be.

I denied myself nothing I wanted,
I refused myself not a single desire of my heart,
Even my work was satisfying,
My heart swelled with joy for a time,
For a moment in time.
And this was my reward, nothing more.
For all my efforts, in time.
When I finally looked around at my life.
At my wealth.
At my collection of people, places and things.
In time, I realized, it was an illusion.
Shadows of meaning, just out of grasp.
Fading.
Again, chasing after the wind,
Nothing was gained.

So back to wisdom.
And madness, and craziness.
What more can the king do,
Than the king before?
Wisdom was better than craziness of course.
Just as light was better than darkness.
The wise man, sees where he is going,
While the fool, stumbles around in the darkness.
Yet, here's the irony, they both have the same end.

Deep in my heart, I thought,
The result of the foolish life,
Takes me in my grave also.
What do I gain living wise?
Deep in my heart, I surmised,
Shadows of meaning, fading.
For neither the wise man nor the fool,
Will be long remembered.
In days to come,
Both are done,
Both are dead,
Both are dust.
Both must,
Die.
Both will fade.

I began to hate life, or at least the work.
Since it was all a shadow of meaning, or nothing,
Or chasing after the wind,
I hated all the things
I felt I had wasted my time to achieve.
What sense does it make
To put in such great effort,
and leave it behind,
To those who don't really care anyway.
Wise?
Or foolish, I have no say,
They just walk in and take over,
They may burn my empire to the ground,
What have I to say,
For I am a shadow of meaning, fading.

Man, I felt bad.
Depression set in yet once again.