Nope. Sorry, can’t help!

shutterstock_92573179Feels like I already wrote a post on this, hmm? I could go check but the three year old is hovering with a magic wand aimed at my computer. So after my  recent stint at the doctor’s where he told me to take it easy and R-E-L-A-X… I’ve decided it’s time to cut out all the unnecessary ‘stuff’ that I have going on in my life. One of the things I really wanted to do this year was sign up for volunteer work at DS’s school. Even though I’m a SAHM, I’m more a WAHM now, but it’s hard to explain that to people. I have to admit I feel like I’m being judged by the volunteering super-mom crowd. Like, I’m there for school drop-off, pick-up, so why am I not there for every other event like they manage to be? Well, I have no choice, I had to let go of that commitment. And I have to let go of the guilt. No point in trying to eliminate excess from our lives if we’re then riddled by guilt for doing it. We all have our stuff, our obligations. Certain ones we can’t get rid of. I have small children and ageing parents (as do soooo many of us, right?) and I’m the go-to kid for my parents. I will drop everything and have dropped everything to sit-in on doctor’s appointments, or even just be a driver. I am committed to homemade food. It’s just in me and the way I was raised (Italian parents. And no, they don’t believe Chef Boyardee was a real Italian). So I can’t really give up on that and while we do get takeout, it’s not nearly enough to make a difference.


I can’t cut out the writing. Not that I’d want to. So I can cut out the extra stuff-I’m adding cleaning to this list. I’m so anal. I get anxiety when the laundry room is overflowing with unfolded laundry. I’m happiest when my laundry room is spotless because it’s indicative of the state of the rest of  my home. I need to get over that. Bad thinking! I need to just let it go. Chill. Of course I’d have wine to chill, but now that’s been banned until my stomach is better! Booooooo!!!!!


What else do I stress about? OMG…don’t get me started this could be an entire series of posts…well, every time myself or one of the kids gets a ‘mystery’ illness, my creative mind goes into overdrive…it’s a good thing my husband knows this and usually shoots me down with an ‘are you crazy? how do you come up with this stuff?’ I blame it on being a writer! I get paid to come up with crazy ideas! Well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it ;-)


All right, off to get the kids to school…cue stomach churning!


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Published on April 03, 2014 05:26
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message 1: by Peni (new)

Peni Loved reading your diary of a mom. I hate to say this because my mind doesn't think any different, I am older, eeeww, and due to an excess of behavioral issues with my children and just 'stuff' have gone through the stomach churning stages several times. I can truthfully say if you have children that you care about (unbelieveable but some don't), you WILL always have a stomach or some other body part that churns. As they, the children, get older the concerns change but the churning just increases.

My key was getting used to the churning by letting go of my spotless home strive for a comfortable home that invites my kids and their friends to want to be there. (Yes, I always know now what my kids are up to and with whom) That gives me peace of mind and hopefully a solid relationship with my kids.

I used to volunteer at school but after kindergarden, I helped out in other ways. My children both appreciated me wanting to help BUT giving them an opportunity to grow a little independence by giving them this time to have friends and learn without me hanging around them (not to knock home-schooling). As they got older having mom or heaven forbid dad there, was a punishment served by way of the silent treatment.

This has all helped my health simply instead of 'giving up worrying about the cleaning, volunteering ect by changing my focus to being more emotional based instead of the 'Suzie homemaker' we are taught to strive for.

Sorry this was so long .... not to preach just some thoughts. your doing great to recognize when changes need to happen :)


message 2: by Victoria (new)

Victoria James Hi Peni!

Oh, how I love your advice!!! I think you are so right that there will always be some body part that churns when raising children. This is something I still have to remind myself of. I frequently think of how I used to be able to sleep so soundly before kids-and then once you have them, you never truly sleep the same way again :)

And I LOVE your advice about letting the perfect home go in favour of having an inviting place for your kids and their friends. So smart and so true.

Thanks so much!!!
Victoria
xo


message 3: by Peni (new)

Peni Wow, I'm honored you replyed, let alone read it.
By the way, I haven't had a good solid sleep since giving birth and not even close when their is a child in house. Always listening for sign of distress...


message 4: by Victoria (new)

Victoria James I always try and reply and if I don't it means I've missed it or just really behind. But, I'm the one who's honored that YOU commented and actually read my rambling blog post, LOL.

So true about the sleep, isn't it? I keep telling myself that the sleep will get better, but then when I talk to cousins with older children they said it's a whole new set of worries and problems. So, I guess this is just all part of parenthood ;-)

Victoria
xo


message 5: by Peni (new)

Peni Oh yea. I have a boy that just turned 22 and a girl of 15. It is a journey in bewilderment for me. They didn't teach this in school. As everyone says, I look back now and think it was just yesterday it goes faster each year. As 'they' say, time flies when you're having fun. Even when the fun appears to be hell.


message 6: by Victoria (new)

Victoria James LOL-when the fun appears to be hell-how true is that on some days??? And yes, it's going by soooo fast. Mine are 3 and 7 and sometimes I look at my 7 year old and wonder how he got to be a big kid, when it feels like just yesterday I became a parent?? Scary!


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