CLP Blog Tours Interview and Excerpt: Dangled Carat by Hilary Grossman
**Interview**
When did you know writing was for you?
For as far back as I can remember I always wanted to write a book, probably because I was always a huge reader. Over the years, I would dabble in writing, but I never stuck to it. Then, about four years ago, I decided to start my blog, Feeling Beachie (http://www.feelingbeachie), as practice. I wanted to see if I had the wherewithal to write regularly as well as see if anyone would be interested in what I had to say. I loved every second of blogging, especially the friendships that I developed. Then, about two years ago, I attended a BlogHer conference about turning a blog into a book. The conference was amazing and it gave me the motivation I needed to transform my dream into a reality! I started writing Dangled Carat the very next day!
How would you describe your book?
Dangled Carat is a memoir about my attempt to convert a commitment-phobic man into a doting husband with a lot of help from his family and friends. But I think, and others agree, it reads more like women’s fiction or chick lit. It is a funny yet tender and emotional coming of age story. It will make you laugh and cry…..
Why was Dangled Carat a book you wanted to write?
While many of the things that happened to me (two faux engagement parties, for example) were very unique being involved in a relationship with a commitment-phobe is a very common situation. I felt that my story was something that so many women could relate to.
But more than that, I wanted to share my story in the hopes that I could help someone else who was in the same situation. It is a very difficult position to be in. Everyone in your life has an opinion and “advice”. You always seem to be second guessing yourself and your actions. My desire to help has been accomplished! I recently received an email from a self described commitment-phobic male reader who shared that after reading the book he realized some of the ways that he has sabotaged his relationships in the past. He completely related to Marc. He also told me how he learned that he has to go at his own pace regardless of what the other person seems to want – it will either work or not. He also learned that he has to communicate his feelings and just relax – enjoy the moment and let nature take it’s course – rather than worry about what tomorrow will bring. This new attitude has kept him in a relationship that he would have already ended in the past!
What is the hardest part of the writing process for you?
This is such a hard question! It seems that every step along the way there is a different challenge. When I was writing Dangled Carat, the hardest part for me was the s-e-x scene. In my first draft I didn’t include any s-e-x. My editor told me that I couldn’t write such a personal dating memoir without any sex. I knew that she was right, yet I had such a difficult time writing that scene! I must have stared at my blank screen for hours before I worked up the nerve to start typing…
Now that the book is published, the hardest part is marketing it. I always say it is easier to write a book than try promote it!
What are your favorite genres to read?
I love memoirs, chick lit, and women’s fiction. But I am a very eclectic reader. I also enjoy suspense, murder mysteries and true crime books. I also can devour cookbooks – pun intended 
What do you want readers to take away from your story?
I want readers to feel that they can defy conventional dating wisdom, and their friend’s and families well meant advice, and instead follow their own hearts. It is a hard thing to do, and the results may not be what you are hoping for, but in the end, hopefully you will be pleased with your decisions and not have regrets…
How important do you think social media is for authors these days?
I think that social media is essential for authors these days. We are so fortunate to have this tool available to us. Not only is social media a great way to get your book “out there” it is also a wonderful way to connect readers and authors. I love having the ability to “chat” with someone who has read my book, just as I love to be able to “speak” to the author of a book that I read. Also, social media allows authors to meet and connect with fellow authors. I have met so many amazing people online, and the support I receive from everyone has been astonishing!
What would be your advice to aspiring writers?
Just write. Don’t worry about anything besides telling your story. The next steps – looking for an agent, publication, cover design, sales, etc – they will all work out… There are so many options available to authors now! Also, I would advise to develop a thick skin and don’t take rejection personally. If possible, gear yourself up for rejection, almost expect it. The vast majority of first time authors will not be able to secure an agent. Don’t let it discourage you…. Instead embrace the small victories along the way…..and enjoy the moments and remember, you are doing something that most people only dream of….
**Excerpt**
I never intended for it to happen. The words just came tumbling out without warning….
“It’s New Year’s Eve, and you know what that means, Marc. Time is up… I told you that you had until New Years’ to propose, and, well, here we are. It’s New Year’s Eve. So, what will it be?”
Despite the deep tan that he was sporting just moments before, suddenly Marc, my long term boyfriend, turned a ghostly shade of pale. He took a deep breath, and it was clear by the expression on his face that he was confused as well as slightly angry. But could you blame him? Why shouldn’t he be upset? Who wants to be faced with an ultimatum? Especially, when the demand it is being delivered by someone other than your girlfriend!
You see, Marc and I weren’t alone. We had escaped the frigid New York temperatures and pending snow storms to spend some time in Fort Lauderdale with our close friends from Utah, Eric and his wife, Jaye. It was Jaye who questioned Marc while Eric and I busied ourselves making grapefruit martinis.
I wasn’t surprised by Jaye’s question though how she delivered it did shock me. Jaye, like all of Marc’s friends and family, had been pestering him for quite a while about when he was going to marry me. Unlike most long-term relationships with commitment phobic men, I had never pressured Marc about marriage. If our relationship was going to move to the next level, I wanted it to be his choice. I didn’t want to live my life wondering if he married me because he really loved me and wanted to spent his life with me, or if he married me because I threatened to leave him if he didn’t. But despite my resolve not to pressure him, I encouraged others to do my dirty work. And no one let me down. Everyone important in his life took on the role with gusto. But of all the people closest to Marc, Jaye has been my staunchest ally.
When Marc didn’t reply, Jaye continued, “So, I guess the silence means you are okay with this. I guess you are engaged!”
Eric didn’t wait for Marc to regain his senses. He followed his wife’s lead. Jumping on the bandwagon, drink in his hand; he patted Marc on the back, “Congratulations, buddy! You are a lucky man!” Then Eric turned and kissed me. “You will be a beautiful bride!” Raising his martini into the air, Eric toasted, “To the happy couple! I hope your marriage is a long and happy one!”
“Woo hoo!” Jaye cheered, “Kiss the bride!”
Marc didn’t move a muscle. It was as if Jaye had rendered him cationic.
Author Bio:
Hilary Grossman dated a guy so commitment-phobic that she was able to write a book about their relationship. She is currently the CFO of a beverage alcohol importer and lives on Long Island.
Connect with Hilary!
blog = http://www.feelingbeachie.com
Facebook – author page = https://www.facebook.com/pages/Hilary-Grossman-Author/490726971020296
Facebook blog page = https://www.facebook.com/pages/Feeling-Beachie/303122723070159
twitter = @feelingbeachie
Buy the Book!
Amazon = http://www.amazon.com/Dangled-Carat-Hilary-Grossman-ebook/dp/B00F55HITQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1394374641&sr=8-1&keywords=dangled+carat
Barnes & Noble (print) http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/dangled-carat-hilary-grossman/1117017818?ean=9780615860350
