A is for Alien Abduction

I am fairly certain that last year in the first week of December I was abducted by aliens. My reasoning is thus...

1) I woke up naked in the yard missing a large chunk of time. However, it was a Sunday morning after a bourbon infused Saturday night...and, I have found myself in that predicament before. 

2) The next day I discovered a perfectly circular, dime-sized mark on my ankle. I think it's some sort of transmitter.

3) Every night since I have been waking up at exactly 3:43 AM. I speculate this was when I was snatched. 

4) I am suffering from a reoccurring dream about being kidnapped by a trio of "little people" who resemble dwarfed versions of the Three Stooges and taken up to a cloud. After forcing me to listen to smooth jazz while they probe me, they put me in a giant washing machine on the delicate cycle. It washes and rinses me, then shoots me down a tube that reaches all the way from outer space to my bedroom. 

5) My nipples now glow in the dark.  Welcome to my Words! I will attempt to complete the Blogging from A-Z April Challenge. Wish me luck and join me for your daily dose of Bourbonista madness.