Don't Know Much Trigonometry, Either

"I know! While Fletch is at Home Depot, I'll go down to the basement and bring up the table the old owners left! And I'll have it all set up with the new chairs [our only furniture until our official move on Monday:] so we'll have someplace to sit that isn't the floor when he gets back!" ... "This doesn't seem heavy at all! But the weird root-cellar-y door I'm supposed to take this out has a big spider on it. I'll just bring it up the regular basement stairs and through the house." ... "Look a...