3 Deadly Mindset Traps That Guarantee Failure
This is a guest post by Kevin Anthony Williams. He is a Career Coach and the author of Defining You, a coaching work book that will walk you through the process of clarifying your values. You can get a FREE download of Defining You, which also includes 45 minutes of FREE coaching by subscribing to his blog. You can also follow him on Twitter.
“Change your thoughts and you change your world.” – Norman Vincent Peale
So you have finally decided to stop merely talking about your dream and to start actively pursuing it. Congratulations! That one decision alone has propelled you into rarefied air. The sad truth is that most people never muster up enough courage to
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step out of the talking phase and into the wild, uncharted territory that is the doing phase.
Action is what matters in any dream chasing journey.
So, why is it that some people seem unstoppable while others can’t seem to get off the couch?
In a word. Mindset.
When attempting to accomplish something unconventional whether that be starting a business, having a great marriage or getting out of debt you will frequently battle negative mindsets.
I find that the height of the mindset battle occurs immediately after getting out of bed. It is important therefore to have a strategy for dealing with the onslaught early.
When you conquer limiting mindsets early, you will be unstoppable for the rest of the day. When you don’t, the day will spiral out of control.
Based upon my experience encouraging and coaching others to achieve big dreams, I have found that there are at least three common mindset traps that pretty much guarantee failure.
Let’s expose these hidden dream killers for the lies that they are and discuss ways to defeat them:
Trap # 1: “It’s not my fault. I am in this situation because of what someone has failed to do for me.”
Why this mindset kills your dream:
This mindset robs you of your personal dignity. It is a posture of entitlement that turns many people away from helping you. I have yet to see someone who is successful in achieving their dreams eager to help someone who feels entitled. It actually has an opposite effect.
If you find yourself dealing with this mindset, you are not alone. The way to conquer it is by taking ownership of wherever you are in your life. Own your mistakes. Own your successes. Join a group of high achievers who will keep you accountable and who will not enable you to make excuses.
This leads me to trap # 2 which is similar in its entitlement angle.
Trap # 2: “It’s not my fault. I am this way because of what someone has done to me.”
Why this mindset will kill your dream:
Now I do not intend to dismiss any hardship you may have faced in your life due to the cruelty or neglect of others. Unfortunately, no one is able to go through life unscathed. So if you are facing a hurtful situation as a result of someone else’s cruelty, my heart goes out to you and I hope that you find the comfort and peace that you need.
That being said, if you allow this mindset to settle unaddressed, it will form deep roots in your thinking and produce bitter fruit. Like the first mindset trap, you will need a support group to stand with you and encourage you to keep moving forward.
You are too valuable to sit on the sidelines of life. Make a commitment to yourself that you will trust again. Draw on the support of your community. I have never met anyone who has built something of significance that has done it completely on her own.
The conventional way to deal with these first two mindset traps is to continue blaming others for the circumstances we find ourselves in. This is a safe choice and many choose this path.
The result is a life stuck in neutral and laden with regret, “would have”, “could have” and “should have.”
What a powerless position! By blaming others, you have relinquished your power to change and therefore remain stuck. The path less traveled, yet far superior, is to take personal responsibility for where you are now and where you are going.
This is how successful people think. They don’t have time to dwell on the past. They are too busy envisioning, planning and executing on the future.
Trap # 3: “Someday I’ll be successful”
Why this mindset will kill your dream:
There is absolutely no doubt in your mind that one day you will be successful. You can literally feel the anticipation and tell yourself that it is only a matter of time.
Faith in your abilities or the viability of a project or endeavor is a great thing. In fact, it is the genesis of all worthy accomplishments. However, faith alone is not enough, it must be accompanied by work.
2:30 in the morning type of work. The stuff that no one else sees.
Do the Work.
It will pay off eventually. Without corresponding action, your faith is meaningless.
Hey, no one ever said that being extraordinary would be easy. There are giants to fight and dragons to slay. The giants and dragons are 98% internal and only 2% external.
Most people spend most of their life fighting or blaming the external forces (government, co-workers, gatekeepers, upbringing, etc..) while losing the real battle – the inner battle of the mind.
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While I have only listed three counterproductive mindsets that need to be conquered, you can be assured that there are hundreds, perhaps thousands more of these attitudes just waiting to take you down a path of failure, regret and hopelessness.
Don’t give in to these mindsets.
Resist them.
Form new ones.
So, what negative mindset will you banish from your thinking? What positive mindsets will you intentionally form this week that will help you achieve your big dream?
