‘I would not have been able to rebuild my life without her’

Despite coming to terms with the loss of her husband and father, Joanne Watkins’ mum still found the strength to support her daughter through her own loss. Here Jo explains why her mum is the most inspiring person she knows.

Can you tell us about the difficulties you mum has faced in her life?

My Mum and Dad were married for 33 years when my Dad died of Motor Neurone Disease having been ill for a very difficult two and a half years. The shock of finding out you or a loved one has this illness is beyond words and the devastating effect it has is heart breaking.

My Mum was my Dad's primary carer which led to her having to give up her very much loved job as a teacher in the school she had worked at for over 20 years. Throughout the whole time my Dad was ill my Mum never once moaned about anything or felt sorry for herself. All she wanted to do was make the situation as easy and stress free for me as she could, always putting my Dad and I first and ready with a hug or a smile.

How has your Mum coped with losing your Dad?

Watching my Mum’s heart break at my Dad's funeral was one of the hardest things I've ever done. She relied on him for everything and I could never convey how proud I am of her for being so strong and brave. She's learnt to do jobs in the house, use the internet, keep my Dad's beautiful garden going; all the things he did in our house.

During my Dad's illness my Mum's Dad, my Grandpa, also passed away and this was a huge loss to my Mum as they were extremely close.

During that time I met my boyfriend Gareth, who was as fantastic a man as my Dad. My Mum also adored him and he was such a strength to us both when my Dad passed away.

What losses have experienced in your own life?

Six months after my Dad passed away, on my 29th birthday in March 2010 I sadly suffered a very difficult miscarriage. This was another very difficult time for Gareth, my Mum and I so soon after my Dad had died, but as always my Mum carried me through it, always being there any time of the day or night and ensuring above everything I was ok.

In June 2010 Gareth was diagnosed with Leukaemia. I can’t describe the shock as he was the most physically fit person I had ever met, always in the gym and eating healthy. Over the next few months Gareth stayed in Salford Royal Hospital enduring two horrendous rounds of chemotherapy and again I cannot put in to words how truly awful those months were.

My Mum lives in Gloucestershire so I was unable to see her a great deal during that time because all my time was taken up with being in hospital with Gareth. Sadly Gareth passed away aged 31 on the 26th September 2010 and his funeral was on the one year anniversary of my Dad dying.

How did your mum help you through this difficult time?

Without the love, support, guidance and help of my amazing Mum, who had lost her wonderful husband of 33 years only 12 months before, and was still grieving heavily, I genuinely don’t know where I would be today. I most certainly would not have come to terms with Gareth's death in the way I have. She was very close to Gareth too so his death was a huge loss to her as well, but she has never once stopped putting me first or helping me get my life back on track.

She is such a positive upbeat person, always has a smile on her face, always doing everything for everyone and never puts herself first. She is the most inspiring person I have ever met and I am beyond proud of how she copes every day without my Dad and for the support she shows me constantly.

I don’t know anyone who has had such a difficult year as we did together and I would not have been able to rebuild my life without her.