Groupon Will Just Not Clean My House

I really want someone to come clean my house for me. I don't want to pay $100 for it. This is what leads me down the Groupon road, over and over, except this is what happens every single time.

1) Get email from Groupon that includes some half-price home cleaning service.

2) Buy Groupon. Think giddily about clean house with no effort on my part. Print Groupon out and stroke it lovingly.

3) Schedule cleaning. Always at least three months out, because whatever. Put appointment on calendar.

4) Da...