Lessons From Rob Ford
Rob Ford is a lying, uncouth, idiot who abuses alcohol and drugs. And he doesn’t seem to be a very nice person either. There. I said it. Now all you Ford Nation apologists can lambast me with your indignant responses to my insults.
What? No takers?
Okay, insulting Rob Ford these days is much like shooting wildlife that has been drugged, blinded and placed in a tiny pen. Not very difficult. But there are some things we as writers can learn from the inimitable Mr. Ford. No. Honest.
Rob Ford has remarkable confidence. No matter the fact that the Toronto council has stripped him of all mayoral powers and funding, Rob Ford still believes that he is doing a good job as mayor. He still goes out there in the face of all the booing and jeering and says that he is not only a good mayor, but The Best F—ing Mayor Toronto has ever had.
Wow. If you could channel 1/80th of that confidence as a writer, the negative Amazon reviews (and you will always get some of those) and your cousin saying, “Well your book would’ve been so much better if you had only…” would just bounce off your back like quarters off your hero’s buns o’steel. (Well, not that I’ve ever tried bouncing quarters off any guy’s butt, but you get the idea.) Because as a writer, you need to get out there and promote your book without reservations. If you aren’t promoting your book like it’s the next blockbuster romance that will make readers weep with joy, they’ll find another book promising unmitigated entertainment and escapism.
Rob Ford is incredibly stubborn. Despite a massive outcry demanding he step down, the man is digging in deeper and campaigning for the next Toronto election. (And with at least 12 moderate mayoral wannabes splitting the sane voters, the election may be closer than one would hope.)
This tunnel-vision commitment would really serve those of us procrastinating writers well. Set your sights on the goal and just power forward. If someone distracts you, just bowl them down as if they were a city councilwoman. If someone tells you the statistics on how few writers actually make enough money from writing to actually support themselves, make up your own “facts” on how well you’re doing and stick to your fantasy figures like a hippo on Red Bull. Try it, it’s fun!
And lastly, Rob Ford has fabulous family and friends support. (Well not that his family is fabulous—drug dealers, addicts and god knows what else—but their support is phenomenal.) As a writer it’s important to gather people around who like you and enjoy what you do. If your family is not inclined to read smut, find other writers and readers to give you positive feedback. You’ll need writers and editors to advise you on where your writing needs improvement—we all do—but you also should have some go-to yes-women for those times when you feel incompetent. (Damn you, grammar rules.) Maybe like the Ford Nation you could even name your fans something like Snowdonites, Snowdonistas, or whatever works with your name.
Rob Ford may be using his overblown ego and drive for evil, but you can use the same powers to smutify the world. Go forth, my friends, you are only about thirty drunken stupors away from your goals!
What? No takers?
Okay, insulting Rob Ford these days is much like shooting wildlife that has been drugged, blinded and placed in a tiny pen. Not very difficult. But there are some things we as writers can learn from the inimitable Mr. Ford. No. Honest.
Rob Ford has remarkable confidence. No matter the fact that the Toronto council has stripped him of all mayoral powers and funding, Rob Ford still believes that he is doing a good job as mayor. He still goes out there in the face of all the booing and jeering and says that he is not only a good mayor, but The Best F—ing Mayor Toronto has ever had.
Wow. If you could channel 1/80th of that confidence as a writer, the negative Amazon reviews (and you will always get some of those) and your cousin saying, “Well your book would’ve been so much better if you had only…” would just bounce off your back like quarters off your hero’s buns o’steel. (Well, not that I’ve ever tried bouncing quarters off any guy’s butt, but you get the idea.) Because as a writer, you need to get out there and promote your book without reservations. If you aren’t promoting your book like it’s the next blockbuster romance that will make readers weep with joy, they’ll find another book promising unmitigated entertainment and escapism.
Rob Ford is incredibly stubborn. Despite a massive outcry demanding he step down, the man is digging in deeper and campaigning for the next Toronto election. (And with at least 12 moderate mayoral wannabes splitting the sane voters, the election may be closer than one would hope.)
This tunnel-vision commitment would really serve those of us procrastinating writers well. Set your sights on the goal and just power forward. If someone distracts you, just bowl them down as if they were a city councilwoman. If someone tells you the statistics on how few writers actually make enough money from writing to actually support themselves, make up your own “facts” on how well you’re doing and stick to your fantasy figures like a hippo on Red Bull. Try it, it’s fun!
And lastly, Rob Ford has fabulous family and friends support. (Well not that his family is fabulous—drug dealers, addicts and god knows what else—but their support is phenomenal.) As a writer it’s important to gather people around who like you and enjoy what you do. If your family is not inclined to read smut, find other writers and readers to give you positive feedback. You’ll need writers and editors to advise you on where your writing needs improvement—we all do—but you also should have some go-to yes-women for those times when you feel incompetent. (Damn you, grammar rules.) Maybe like the Ford Nation you could even name your fans something like Snowdonites, Snowdonistas, or whatever works with your name.
Rob Ford may be using his overblown ego and drive for evil, but you can use the same powers to smutify the world. Go forth, my friends, you are only about thirty drunken stupors away from your goals!
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