Someone Like You

I’ve been divorced since the fall of 2007 and separated for much longer. It was a horrible time for me, and I still struggle with things that went on in my marriage and in the first few years after the separation. I’ve dealt with really awful anxiety, stress and what was later diagnosed as PTSD. I spent many years looking for someone like my ex because I was so attached to him; it as what is called ‘learned helplessness’ when a partner makes you feel as if you cannot live without them, cannot function and feel as if you have a deep black hole inside you without them. I am a survivor of domestic violence and for whatever reason I keep picking men who cheat, use and abuse me. So I’ve decided to stop looking. When I have met someone nice, the tendency to reject them is very strong; it’s on a subconscious level. I find fault with them. Having spent a lot of time alone in the past 5 years, I have had time to reflect and have only begun recognizing some of these patterns in the last couple years. I’m wary of getting involved for other reasons as well.

This song reminds me of myself for so many years. Also, lovely singing!

 

 

This song just reminds me of the insanity that was my life in the first three years after the separation.

 

 

Thanks for reading! :-)

Filed under: autobiographical, Writing Tagged: 1999, 2007, 2014, adele, adultery, blog, blogging, divorce, domestic violence, hawaiian violet, hope, learned helplessness, learning, love, marriage, recovery, reflection, relationships, sad, sadness, someone like you, therapy, thinking, thought, turning tables, youtube