Expiration Dates .....
Post Script ..... Regarding yesterday's post "Without A Trace" .... I am deeply saddened by the news that Maylasian Flight MH 370 is lost and all aboard presumed dead. The ripple effect is much greater than the 239 souls aboard, and those who remain are deserving of our prayers to see them through such a difficult time.
Go to the supermarket or open your kitchen cabinets or refrigerator and pick up any item within and upon examining the label you will find an ‘expiration date’. Even when it comes to the things in our lives that don’t have an expiration date such as an article of clothing, a pair of shoes, even a car or a home, almost from the moment of purchase we possess the fore knowledge that at some point it will become obsolete and therefore useless in terms of fulfilling our needs. Oftentimes I’ve complained about our ‘disposable society’ but in the name of keeping our house in order, maybe some things are best disposed of versus holding onto them past prime.
I’m talking relationships here ….. when you ‘stop’ relating as partners, is it time to put an expiration date on your love life? Talking to myself recently in an effort to reason with my overly analytical mind, I actually said out loud, “Sure you love him, but at the same time you feel as if you’re going nowhere.” As a result, I start to limit what I’m willing to give my partner in an effort to protect myself.
I’ve never been much on ultimatums. To me, the only logical conclusion one can expect from having backed someone in a corner is not that he or she will suddenly surrender to your greater wisdom, but rather that they will come out fighting for their own survival. Therefore, unwilling to put my relationship and possible future happiness on the line, I stop just short of issuing an ‘or else’ type demand hoping to jumpstart what otherwise seems to be a lack of interest.
Instead, I chose to look at the signs ….. everyone should have a clear vision of what they hope their future will one day look like, and if their partner does not share that vision, then perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate the partnership. It’s not enough to want all the same things, you have to want all the same things ‘with me’ or else what am I doing wasting all my time and energy trying to convince you I’m worth your time? I know what I want out of our partnership, and I’m willing to ask for it knowing in advance I may not get the answer I’m looking for.
In any dynamic communication is vital in order for success, and when it comes to interpersonal relationships, the need for a clear exchange of information cannot be underestimated. Without it you’re already living a separate and independent life, and the only thing that remains is ‘making it official’. Therefore, with nothing to lose maybe it’s time to make a bold move by issuing a plea, “So in the name of fighting for our continued survival, I’m asking for your co-operation here to help put our love ‘back on the map’ knowing that should you refuse we are as good as done, because I value myself and my time every bit as much as you do yours and without validation, I’m no longer willing to invest in a losing cause.”
There are all kinds of ‘alone’ and each of them come with a certain amount inner struggle, but no one should have to feel alone within the confines of a relationship, otherwise you just short-change yourself by closing off all other possibilities. Only a certain amount of life is predictable. The largest part of it comes with an ‘element of surprise’ and sometimes when you least expect it, someone really wonderful enters your life and instinctively you know your life has forever changed. Healthy relationships are based upon mutual love, respect, care and communication. With each quality that is lacking, your chances of survival diminish. Therefore, in the interest of refusing to waste any more time, perhaps it becomes wise to place an ‘expiration date’ on love ….. there is an ‘acceptable’ amount of time for circumstances to change and beyond that you must be willing to throw in the towel and move on knowing you can find the relationship you deserve as long as you hold onto your dreams and don’t let anything hold you back when it comes to achieving them.
Go to the supermarket or open your kitchen cabinets or refrigerator and pick up any item within and upon examining the label you will find an ‘expiration date’. Even when it comes to the things in our lives that don’t have an expiration date such as an article of clothing, a pair of shoes, even a car or a home, almost from the moment of purchase we possess the fore knowledge that at some point it will become obsolete and therefore useless in terms of fulfilling our needs. Oftentimes I’ve complained about our ‘disposable society’ but in the name of keeping our house in order, maybe some things are best disposed of versus holding onto them past prime.
I’m talking relationships here ….. when you ‘stop’ relating as partners, is it time to put an expiration date on your love life? Talking to myself recently in an effort to reason with my overly analytical mind, I actually said out loud, “Sure you love him, but at the same time you feel as if you’re going nowhere.” As a result, I start to limit what I’m willing to give my partner in an effort to protect myself.
I’ve never been much on ultimatums. To me, the only logical conclusion one can expect from having backed someone in a corner is not that he or she will suddenly surrender to your greater wisdom, but rather that they will come out fighting for their own survival. Therefore, unwilling to put my relationship and possible future happiness on the line, I stop just short of issuing an ‘or else’ type demand hoping to jumpstart what otherwise seems to be a lack of interest.
Instead, I chose to look at the signs ….. everyone should have a clear vision of what they hope their future will one day look like, and if their partner does not share that vision, then perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate the partnership. It’s not enough to want all the same things, you have to want all the same things ‘with me’ or else what am I doing wasting all my time and energy trying to convince you I’m worth your time? I know what I want out of our partnership, and I’m willing to ask for it knowing in advance I may not get the answer I’m looking for.
In any dynamic communication is vital in order for success, and when it comes to interpersonal relationships, the need for a clear exchange of information cannot be underestimated. Without it you’re already living a separate and independent life, and the only thing that remains is ‘making it official’. Therefore, with nothing to lose maybe it’s time to make a bold move by issuing a plea, “So in the name of fighting for our continued survival, I’m asking for your co-operation here to help put our love ‘back on the map’ knowing that should you refuse we are as good as done, because I value myself and my time every bit as much as you do yours and without validation, I’m no longer willing to invest in a losing cause.”
There are all kinds of ‘alone’ and each of them come with a certain amount inner struggle, but no one should have to feel alone within the confines of a relationship, otherwise you just short-change yourself by closing off all other possibilities. Only a certain amount of life is predictable. The largest part of it comes with an ‘element of surprise’ and sometimes when you least expect it, someone really wonderful enters your life and instinctively you know your life has forever changed. Healthy relationships are based upon mutual love, respect, care and communication. With each quality that is lacking, your chances of survival diminish. Therefore, in the interest of refusing to waste any more time, perhaps it becomes wise to place an ‘expiration date’ on love ….. there is an ‘acceptable’ amount of time for circumstances to change and beyond that you must be willing to throw in the towel and move on knowing you can find the relationship you deserve as long as you hold onto your dreams and don’t let anything hold you back when it comes to achieving them.
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