Things You Should Never Let Your Human Get Away With

I had an argument with my human over the title of this blog post, because she claimed it was grammatically “hideous.” I say that it is just fine because 1) as a headline, it does not need to be grammatically correct, and 2) it makes its point. As you can see, since the headline stayed, I won. And that is the whole deal here — your word should stand, but humans are always trying to fiddle with that. And if they think they are winning, then who knows what else they will try? I have a nice, memorable saying for you — and even better, this time it is grammatically correct:

You’ve got to keep a rein on humans, or they will try to reign over you!

Here are a few things your humans may try to get away with — but don’t let them!

Giving you any food just because it is healthy, and not accounting for taste! Seriously, they should know better than that — do you see them eating dull, tasteless food just because it is good for them? Of course not! And if they do try to eat boring food on one of their periodic “diet” attempts, it does not last very long. Humans need to keep palatability in mind when dishing out our food — the healthy part should be a bonus.

Telling you to stay off the counters and/ or the dining table. Always remember — it is your house and you can do whatever you want!

Not sharing their food with you. If they are vegetarians, okay, you don’t want it, but if they are eating meat, it is not right if they keep it to themselves. Humans are naturally selfish, so it is especially crucial to train them in this area.

Trying to give you old, stale catnip! Most humans know that spices have a shelf life, so why they don’t get this when it comes to dried catnip, I’ll never understand. They need to toss out the old stuff that has lost its potency and get some new, fragrant nip on a regular basis.

Neglecting to scoop/ freshen/ change your litter box on schedule. Lots of humans are good about this, but even they can be forgetful sometimes. How would they like it if people used their porcelain litter box and never flushed? So yeah, make sure they keep on top of that.

How should you dole out punishment if you see your humans trying to get away with any of these? I’ll leave that up to you — in fact, I’d love it even more if you left a comment and let me know what your humans try to get away with… and how you keep them in line!
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” I have answers to many annoying problems in my two award-winning books! Visit my author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of my awesome Dear Sparkle books!