The Blame Game
Just the other day, an older lady came in to the place where I work, and bought a stack of books that she claimed were perfect. She was a very nice lady, though she did seem a little scatter-brained. I sold her the books, and forgot about it.
Until the next day, when a coworker told me an older lady had come in, collected a stack of books, and brought them to the counter. Apparently the lady had gathered these books, not with an intention to buy them, but so that I would have to put them away as part of a disciplinary action.
I was also informed by this coworker, who complained about it rather vocally, that this lady had done this because I had sold her defective books.
Now, if all the books had been defective, I would completely understand, and feel very bad about it. Of the three books she brought back, however, only one had something truly wrong with it. It was missing some pages, which I could understand her being upset about. It was, however, a used book. The other two books were brought back, not because there was something wrong with them, but because they weren't what she thought they were when she bought them. One was too simple, and one didn't have what she wanted in it.
That would have been all right with me. I've had to deal with customers like her before, and she was altogether much nicer about it than many of them have been in the past. They claim that I sold them the wrong book, when they were absolutely certain the day before, or the week before, that it was the right book. That wasn't the issue I had with this situation. I would have been perfectly fine with taking the books back if she had a problem with them.
The issue was with the way this woman handled it.
She took it upon herself to try and discipline me because two of those books didn't have what she wanted, and because she bought a used book that was missing pages. Because she hadn't looked through those books enough to tell if they were what she wanted or not, she was blaming me.
I'm not saying her concerns about missing pages were invalid. Because she had every right to be upset about that. I could have prevented that. It would have taken me counting the pages of every used book in the store, but I could have done it. I'm also not directing this at her. She was a very nice lady; her actions just brought the subject to my mind.
What I do want to talk about is the blame game.
Millions of people play it every single day.
They don't want to take responsibility for their own shortcomings, for not thinking things through, or making mistakes.
People try to escape responsibility by laying blame where it doesn't belong. They will do virtually anything but take responsibility for the situations they have caused. They want what they want, they want it now, and they want it without rules or consequence. And when a consequence they don't want appears, they do whatever they have to to get rid of it.
And everyone does it. No one wants to face unpleasant situations, and it's normal for us to want to get out of them.
But is the best way to handle it really blaming someone else? If that person you're yelling at is innocent, then you are being unfair and inconsiderate. Lay the blame where you will, but if it's really your own fault, then it's true. You are being unfair and inconsiderate.
If your own actions and behavior have gotten you where you are, then whose fault is it, really? You can blame parents, you can blame siblings, you can blame circumstances, teachers, friends, significant others, but in the end, they didn't make you do this to yourself. You always have a choice, and you made a bad one. It's not the end of the world. Face the consequences with courage, and don't make the mistake again. It's not that hard.
Ultimately, we are all responsible for our fate, if you can even call it that. We may not have control over circumstance, but we have control over how we react, and what we do with what we have. Even if it's not much, you can still control your attitude and your actions.
Until the next day, when a coworker told me an older lady had come in, collected a stack of books, and brought them to the counter. Apparently the lady had gathered these books, not with an intention to buy them, but so that I would have to put them away as part of a disciplinary action.
I was also informed by this coworker, who complained about it rather vocally, that this lady had done this because I had sold her defective books.
Now, if all the books had been defective, I would completely understand, and feel very bad about it. Of the three books she brought back, however, only one had something truly wrong with it. It was missing some pages, which I could understand her being upset about. It was, however, a used book. The other two books were brought back, not because there was something wrong with them, but because they weren't what she thought they were when she bought them. One was too simple, and one didn't have what she wanted in it.
That would have been all right with me. I've had to deal with customers like her before, and she was altogether much nicer about it than many of them have been in the past. They claim that I sold them the wrong book, when they were absolutely certain the day before, or the week before, that it was the right book. That wasn't the issue I had with this situation. I would have been perfectly fine with taking the books back if she had a problem with them.
The issue was with the way this woman handled it.
She took it upon herself to try and discipline me because two of those books didn't have what she wanted, and because she bought a used book that was missing pages. Because she hadn't looked through those books enough to tell if they were what she wanted or not, she was blaming me.
I'm not saying her concerns about missing pages were invalid. Because she had every right to be upset about that. I could have prevented that. It would have taken me counting the pages of every used book in the store, but I could have done it. I'm also not directing this at her. She was a very nice lady; her actions just brought the subject to my mind.
What I do want to talk about is the blame game.
Millions of people play it every single day.
They don't want to take responsibility for their own shortcomings, for not thinking things through, or making mistakes.
People try to escape responsibility by laying blame where it doesn't belong. They will do virtually anything but take responsibility for the situations they have caused. They want what they want, they want it now, and they want it without rules or consequence. And when a consequence they don't want appears, they do whatever they have to to get rid of it.
And everyone does it. No one wants to face unpleasant situations, and it's normal for us to want to get out of them.
But is the best way to handle it really blaming someone else? If that person you're yelling at is innocent, then you are being unfair and inconsiderate. Lay the blame where you will, but if it's really your own fault, then it's true. You are being unfair and inconsiderate.
If your own actions and behavior have gotten you where you are, then whose fault is it, really? You can blame parents, you can blame siblings, you can blame circumstances, teachers, friends, significant others, but in the end, they didn't make you do this to yourself. You always have a choice, and you made a bad one. It's not the end of the world. Face the consequences with courage, and don't make the mistake again. It's not that hard.
Ultimately, we are all responsible for our fate, if you can even call it that. We may not have control over circumstance, but we have control over how we react, and what we do with what we have. Even if it's not much, you can still control your attitude and your actions.
No comments have been added yet.
