Real life problems
I haven't been happy lately, and the comical/sad thing is that I'm always in such a hurry it took quite some time to figure out I wasn't content. I noticed on my clothes becoming smaller. I don't think they've shrunk in the laundry - it's me - and I always gain weight when I'm on the verge of burn-out. I think it's my body's defense system trying to prepare for inevitable hard times.
After I realized I have a problem it took several more weeks to figure out what was wrong. You probably got in the first sentence of this post; I'm always in a hurry. Stress. When you're the one stuck in the rat-race it's less evident.
My days go like this:7 AM, alarm goes off. I get up, pull on a robe, take the dogs out, and feed them.7:30 AM, shower, dress, breakfast, check e-mail, make lunch, kiss hubs8:15 AM, to the car, drive to work9:00 AM, arrive at work and stay there until way too late5:45 PM, drive home6:30 PM, arrive at house. Make dinner. eat dinner.7:30 PM, work on contracted jobs, my books, screenplays, and do marketing11:30 PM, go to bed.Do Loop.
Saturday and Sunday are the same, except for the driving part. Add in the laundry and housework I didn't do during the week... You get the picture. The other day hubs said, "I don't have any clean shirts." I said, "You know where the laundry machine is."
This schedule doesn't seem healthy, not even to me. I'm a talented workaholic, but even with oceans of coffee and previously unseen amounts of fast food to save time on cooking, I can't keep it up.
The problem is that I'm our main provider. If I stop working, we also stop paying the bills. Sure, I make some money on my own writing and on contract jobs for the pet industry, but thus far it hasn't been enough to provide for two adults and four dogs.
I don't know what to do. I would be an unhappy person if I didn't do my own writing; besides hubs and the doggies this is the most important part of my life. I'm not willing to give up writing for the pet industry either, because I love doing that.
To make things worse, we're about to move my daytime job a half hour drive further from my house. My husband said, "Good, then you'll quit there and not be away so much." Great idea, but then what will we eat? On the other hand he's right; my daytime job cannot take eleven hours a day. It's already making me sick.
Change jobs? Maybe. I like what I do, but in the long run it might not be worth it. We'll see...
After I realized I have a problem it took several more weeks to figure out what was wrong. You probably got in the first sentence of this post; I'm always in a hurry. Stress. When you're the one stuck in the rat-race it's less evident.
My days go like this:7 AM, alarm goes off. I get up, pull on a robe, take the dogs out, and feed them.7:30 AM, shower, dress, breakfast, check e-mail, make lunch, kiss hubs8:15 AM, to the car, drive to work9:00 AM, arrive at work and stay there until way too late5:45 PM, drive home6:30 PM, arrive at house. Make dinner. eat dinner.7:30 PM, work on contracted jobs, my books, screenplays, and do marketing11:30 PM, go to bed.Do Loop.
Saturday and Sunday are the same, except for the driving part. Add in the laundry and housework I didn't do during the week... You get the picture. The other day hubs said, "I don't have any clean shirts." I said, "You know where the laundry machine is."
This schedule doesn't seem healthy, not even to me. I'm a talented workaholic, but even with oceans of coffee and previously unseen amounts of fast food to save time on cooking, I can't keep it up.
The problem is that I'm our main provider. If I stop working, we also stop paying the bills. Sure, I make some money on my own writing and on contract jobs for the pet industry, but thus far it hasn't been enough to provide for two adults and four dogs.
I don't know what to do. I would be an unhappy person if I didn't do my own writing; besides hubs and the doggies this is the most important part of my life. I'm not willing to give up writing for the pet industry either, because I love doing that.
To make things worse, we're about to move my daytime job a half hour drive further from my house. My husband said, "Good, then you'll quit there and not be away so much." Great idea, but then what will we eat? On the other hand he's right; my daytime job cannot take eleven hours a day. It's already making me sick.
Change jobs? Maybe. I like what I do, but in the long run it might not be worth it. We'll see...
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Thank you so much! You have no idea how much your kind words and caring warm my heart! :-)
And, you are so right in everything you say. Everyone likes art in some shape or form, but our society isn't designed for creative people. (I don't understand why "struggling artist" is supposed to be a good thing. I guess it sounds romantic or noble, but only when seen from the outside.)
I'm still hoping the right path will materialize under my feet. I just don't know what it is yet.
When I read your book Shadow of a Man, I thought you were one of the most talented self-published sci-fi authors that I've read. I also thought that Flashback was right up there in the contemporary romance category. This is not just idle praise - I read one and sometimes two novellas a night and yours were literally in the top 5%.
It's a crying shame that most writers don't make enough money to feed their families from their work. I have even found this from most of the RWA members in my chapter, and even those with publishing contracts. They have to keep full-time jobs, barely making it, and write in their free (haha) time.
It's pretty hard to put yourself out there and admit that your life is getting ridiculous because of too much work, and then to try to make the 'unwinnable' decisions such as whether to quit or not. I think it happens to almost everyone at one time or another - I know I've felt my fair share of stress and sickness from work, as well as my fair share of feeling like whatever choice I made would not be to my liking. I am facing these dilemmas even now.
I am sending positive energy your way, hoping that things will work out for you in a way that you can get some more rest and free time. And I really hope you find the time to keep writing. Take care.