How to Become Skilled at Networking: Learn from a Pro

A few weeks ago I sat among hundreds of other people listening to a speech given by Pingis Hadenius. Pingis is a former investment banker, Editor in chief and Founder of Elle Puls, and now an author and successful serial entrepreneur.

I wanted to pick her brain so I used my strategy for getting on the radar of successful people to get her attention. I asked her questions during the speech to show my interest. I then approached her after the speech to speak with her in person.

But I couldn’t learn as much as I’d wanted, because there were lot of other people competing for her attention. It wasn’t exactly a private conversation.

So, I waited my turn, got her card, said I’d get back to her, and excused myself.

I then went home and immediately followed up on the interaction by using one of the special tricks that she mentioned in passing during our brief conversation.

The trick worked. You can see in the featured image above.

Translated into English, it says:

Hey Pingis! Here’s a handwritten note, in a digital kind of way. I heard from a smart girl that this is a good way to follow up!

Nice to meet you.

/ Ludvig

In fact, it worked so well that Pingis has now decided to help you – dear reader of SGM – by sharing some of her most powerful tricks and mindsets for networking.

Enter Pingis…

Why do I think building relationships and knowing how to network with people is important?

Because one of the surest ways to success is to manage people and build great relationships.

Because you can go to the best college, you can have top grades, you can work for a company that sells amazing products — or you can actively focus on building relationships that will pave the way toward your ambitions in life.

We now live in a service-based information society. This makes genuine interactions with real people combined with the skill of creating relationships, a powerful business tool.

For example: to build a successful business you need to attract and train people who are passionate about what they do. You do that by creating a “Winner Culture” in the company. Everyone has to share the same beliefs.

The people you surround yourself with will affect you more than anything else — even more than having a great product to sell.

Even if you don’t own a business, you need to start thinking like a business person. You need to think about your closest relationships as if it were a business.

Surrounding yourself with the right people is like having a springboard that pushes you in the right direction. It makes everything so much easier, not to mention how much more fun you’ll have!

To become skilled at networking, start by asking yourself:

What do I want to accomplish?
Who do I need? Who must I get to know to accomplish my goal?
How do I contact them? How do I build a relationship with them?

[Note from Ludvig:] Take a moment to think that through.

How to Contact People

A few years ago I wanted to contact Michael Wolf, CEO of Swedbank. So, I sent him a letter via snail mail. Even though it was the middle of the summer, he sent me an email on the very same day that my letter arrived. By doing that I created a personal relationship within the bank, and I still benefit from that connection today.

We live in a society that overflows with information. This means that you need to do things differently to stand out and grab people’s attention.

You can send 100 emails to 100 people. Or you can send one real letter to the most important person that you need to contact.

Which of the two alternatives do you think is better?

If you’re confident in your ability of making a positive impression, you definitely want to meet people in real life. There are certain things you simply can’t communicate over social media, email, or even over the phone.

Meeting someone in real life makes a much stronger impact than meeting someone online — even if you have a really cool website.  Consider the difference between reading someone’s writing, compared to meeting them and talking face to face.

[Note from Ludvig:] Most people my age compete for jobs from a stack of resumés. This leaves them completely at the mercy of some random person from HR who flips through hundreds of resumés per day. As a rule of thumb, every resumé gets about 7 seconds of attention. And probably less than that if the HR person is in a bad mood that day.

Read on to find smart ways of overcoming this.

Q & A with Pingis About Networking

If you are writing an email to someone you don’t know, what do you write in the subject line to get the other person to open the email?

I don’t do that very often. I don’t have any particular best practices here. I am much more focused on the warm approach — I prefer to contact people I’ve already met.

Here are some of the things I think about when I follow-up on someone I’ve met:

Subject line suggestions:

I want to talk to you about [interesting thing]

Ex Post [event]

Regardless of whether you use these, remember to be as:

Specific as you can.
Personal as you can.

I don’t believe in group networking (big public social conventions). That’s why I always tell people to focus on a few things. Go for depth over breadth. Do your research and show that you are genuinely interested in the other person.

I am an introvert and don’t ‘want’ to do networking. What are the essentials, and how can I do them?

Make it your strategy to meet people you are genuinely interested in one on one. This way you will not have to compete with other people at a social convention, and your interest in the other person will shine through much more clearly.

Try to go for lunch or coffee and pick the other person’s brain. People like it when other people are genuinely interested in them.

How do you deal with rejection?

I don’t think about it much.

If you’re focused on always growing, like I am, you’ll realize that it comes with the territory. Failure or rejection is a necessity for growth. We all face it, what matters is how we deal with it.

If you do think about it, you should consider:

Why did I fail?


Was it important? Maybe it’s not that important after all?

Be constructive about it

Which follow-up strategies do you use after having initiated a first contact?

I don’t have any specific strategies. I don’t believe it’s possible to use a “one size fits all” . But, I always think about how I can make my email/phone call:

Relevant
Personal
Specific

To make it interesting to the other person.

You need to do these things when you’re reaching out to busy people, because they have high standards for what is worth their time and attention.

I think the reason why a lot of people are open to meeting me is because they know I’m genuinely interested in them. That goes a long way.

If you’re not interested in the other person, it’s probably a waste of time for the both of you. Because you’re not going to be motivated enough to find out the necessary information about them, and your lack of interest will show through.

Another thing that might be worth mentioning is that I’m very straightforward. That’s not very common in Sweden.  I sometimes get emails from people asking me for “an unconditional meeting”, and that’s not strong enough to get my interest or attention. My schedule is already full.

Finally, when you contact someone else again, you should always consider “what’s in it for them?”

Focus on the other person, not on yourself. This shouldn’t be that hard to do if you’ve have done your research and you’re familiar with the other person.

How Can I Contribute to the Network?

The most important thing is that you need to think of ways that you can provide value — how can you help other people out? It can be small things, just show that you were thinking about them.

How do you follow up when people don’t respond to your emails/letters/phone calls? Do you keep following up?

It depends on how important it is.

If it’s important I’ll try to be innovative and switch up my approach. I might send a personal delivery or reach out to someone who’s close to the person I am trying to contact and show that I’m really interested in getting in touch with this person.

It’s crucial that you show how important this is to you — and that you really care. Some people are very hard-to-get-to, and to break through their barrier you need to show them this.

Again, do your research. Think of it the same way as if you were applying for a job. Get other people’s opinions.  Years ago, when I first got to know Erik Penser, I knew he was interested in certain things — like horses — so I sent him a letter with horses drawn on it. That got his attention, and we became pen pals.

How do you make introductions between people? Do you have any best practices for doing it?

First thing: Explain and motivate why they should meet each other.

It doesn’t always have to be super specific. A friend of mine recently introduced me to another woman by writing:

“You both have huge potential networks that could benefit [blank]. You should meet up soon.”

Second thing: Make it short. One or two sentences. Brevity is always of the essence.

Here’s an example of an intro:

Hey Sarah and Lisa!

You were both at [event] with me, and [something interesting happened]. I think you should see each other because [benefit].

Kind regards,

Pingis

 How do you deal with people that you do not want any contact with at this moment? Do you tell them you are very busy or do you simply not respond to them?

It depends on who it is.

If it’s people that I know, or people who are interesting and professional, I’ll tell them I’d like to see them but I simply don’t have time right now. I have too many things going on.

I was recently contacted by a company asking to meet me at a specific time. I responded by telling them that I was not available then, but that they should leave me an email with the details.

By telling them this, I’m signalling in a polite way that “it’s my way or the highway”. If they’re really interested in getting my take on their proposal, they will send me that email. It’s not too much to ask for.

Could you give some general Dos and Don’ts when it comes to networking, contacting people, or building relationships?

DOs

–Know what you want and be clear in what you asking for.

–Be brief. Don’t waste time. Think of it like a 30-second elevator pitch, it shouldn’t take longer than that for the other person to get an understanding of what you’re saying.

–Buying other people lunch at a nice restaurant or something like that usually works. People need to eat, it might as well be with you.

By the way, there’s a great audio book by Donald Trump called “Kick Ass and Think Big” where Trump’s co-author, Bill Zanker, gives some very innovative examples of how he reached out to and met high-profile people. I highly recommend that you listen to it.

DON’Ts

–Talk about yourself excessively, whether in email, over the phone, or in person. Always think:“is this interesting or relevant to the other person?”

–Take up too much time or assume that you have hours of access to the other person, unless you’ve been told so.

–Be shy and bother with formalities that take up a lot of time.

Do you have any specific rules/principles/habits when it comes to networking? For example, calling or emailing associates once per month to keep the relationship strong.

Once you have established a relationship, be sure to maintain it.

Why should you do this?

Because relationships follow the 80/20 principle. It’s a lot easier to maintain an existing relationship than it is to establish a new one.

Because relationships are a lot like business: you need to keep providing value to remain in business.

You should continuously nurture your important relationships.  Don’t assume things or take them for granted: Just because you know someone doesn’t mean that you can ask them for things all the time.

You get can only get back what you give. So give often.

For example, I recently took the initiative to arrange a friendly dinner for Erik Penser’s daughter. He didn’t ask me to do that, and neither did she. It was just a way for me to give back.

My friend Hermine Coyet Ohlson, who is the chief editor of ELLE magazine, is another person that I take special care in nurturing my relationship with.

Finally, do you have anything to say on the topic of self-development?

You need to be a positive person, someone who’s fun to be around. A person who can remain positive despite facing adversity — the opposite of victim mentality.

If you’re going to do challenging things you need to be mentally strong, because no one is coming to your rescue.

This is true about networking too, a great network isn’t built by itself. You must take a lot of personal initiative. You can’t sit around and wait for people to contact you. You must go first.

Final Thoughts by Ludvig

As you see, Pingis places a huge importance on:

Being genuinely interested in other people.
Personalization (in pitching). Come up with innovative ways for contacting people to get their attention. Use snail mail or special delivery. It stands out.
Depth over breadth: focus thoroughly on getting to know a few people instead of emailing 100.

Do your research and allude to it when you reach out to someone else, without being a stalker of course!

Nurture your existing relationships — think of it in terms of the 80/20 principle. Don’t take your existing relationships for granted. Do something cool for those special people every once in a while.

All in all, I agree with Pingis.

 

What is your opinion on this? Have you got any useful advice to share?

Leave a comment below with your tips for networking, contacting people, or maintaining relationships.

The post How to Become Skilled at Networking: Learn from a Pro appeared first on Startgainingmomentum.