Black on Black Love: Why Some Blacks Need to Stop Pulling the Race Card

Okay, I'll admit that the title may be construed as a little off the top or 'controversial'; but I am going to touch on a serious subject and hope that I don't start a flame war (actually I hope to start a mini flame war because after the thunderstorm comes beautiful weather). It's time that we have serious face to face (although I'm safely tucked behind my keyboard and house walls), frank conversation that was needed 30 years ago. I bring the thunderstorm.

Please keep in mind that this collection of words is not speaking on the white people that truly hate black people for no obvious reason other than skin color. Also there are many white people that doesn't have any issues with black people on any level (even the points made below-they just don't care) just as there are many black people who'll get this and may agree with the points made below.

In case you're wondering that this is all about what white people do or don't like and is yet another 'acclimate ourselves again to what other people are comfortable with'; no, this is not about that. This is about aligning the strata of the black population that is a continuous source of embarrassment, family and community destruction to other black people. I'm talking about aligning this strata of black folk to your everyday, 'go to work, business owning, care about your child's welfare, want to do good in school' black people.

If this realignment can occur, then we should slowly see more harmony not only from within the greater black community, but between the truly non hating white people and black people.

Below is a list (I'll call it the 'Get your Home in Order' list)of items that black people should address within(again, only the relevant strata in the black community) before any conversation can start between white and black people (you know, the usual headline grabbers: the racism, bigotry, etc conversations).

The list is derived from many years of talking to white and black people and the items are in no order of importance. Here goes:

1. Teach our children to be respectful and be aware of behavior that can be misconstrued as aggressive. This was a tough one, because in many instances (if not most, black boys are labeled as aggressive when in fact they're not aggressive at all. One of the problems is that whites and blacks have lived, worked and played close to each other for a long time, but we are still thousands of miles away when it comes to actually knowing each other. We are fed news stories that inaccurately reflects TRUE cultural group reality and in turn we act out based on this 'media feeding' or think in those biased terms.

2. Put more energy into our children's education. This is a no brainer. The world is cruel enough place without a college degree, but it's downright hell without a high school diploma. It's also time to destroy that several decades old demon that whispers into some of our kids ears that being smart or excelling in school is NOT cool. Realize that the school is NOT the only teacher for your children. We should integrate learning into our everyday family environment. This will only create a 'love to learn for the sake of it' mental environment in the child.

3. Cut the grass, keep up the neighborhoods. Be proud of your shelter for when you're proud, it's hard to let that grass grow up to the roof. This is also about being considerate to your neighbors. I know that many black people do an awesome job of keeping the homestead looking nice.

4. Stop being so sensitive about everything. Racism is alive and well. Gender based inequality is alive and well. Criminal-ism is definitely alive and well. The reality is the white person that dared to speak out about something that he doesn't like is most likely expressing what other whites and blacks don't like.

It's a tough love assessment that is expressed by someone who you think shouldn't say it, but has the balls to say it when the people that look the most like you won't say it(except Bill Cosby). I suspect that many whites that don't truly hate black people don't want to live or heavily socialize around black people simply because they, like most other ethnic groups; feel the most comfortable when around others that are culturally similar and who look the most like them.

5. Get a job. While this is not only a black problem as there are many white people that don't want to work. This gets a mention because when we don't like to work, we tend to like the government to work...for us. This is unnecessary reliance when we are able to work. Free up those government benefits for the temporarily unemployed, the long term sick and elderly. It's criminal that able bodied people are mooching. This only creates a below mediocre standard of being. It shouldn't be about only wanting to survive, we should want to rise economically as high as we can. Destroy the 'get over' mentality.

6. Men, respect our women. Stop calling them b**s, h*s and any other name that is derogatory. I find it amazing that white rockers don't diss their women the way some rap and r & b artists do black women. Some people will say that it's because you're dealing with young men. Yeah right. I'm sure young white men musicians 'feel some kind of way' or say derogatory things about their women, they just don't do it as a default in their music and definitely not so publicly.

Black people will get angry when white men say derogatory things about black women in the public realm; but this is made more possible because it's allowed in the black community on a wholesale level. Also stop supporting music (no matter how good it sounds) that objectify and disrespects women. It has to start somewhere.

We have to evolve beyond the bubblegum r & b and rap that has metastasized on black radio. It's funny how we're doing music that's 'composed' on machines without a full array of instruments, but more white people are creating soul music, all with a full array of instruments. What happened here?

7. Stop embracing the thug life. All black men are not thugs. Not all white men are serial killers. I find too many of our young dudes embracing thuggish behavior (especially suburban kids from good backgrounds). If i were an alien that tuned into the average black radio station, I would think that the artists are addressing humans that only love hyper aggressive behavior towards each other, are violent for the sake of violence towards each other and only makes a living selling drugs.

Every ethnic group sell drugs (white men AND women probably do it more than others), but black people must have a wake up call: in the United States of America, the criminal justice system will look for you (black man) first. It's designed by people that want you out of their social and economic hairs. Is it a conspiracy, maybe, but I'm not one to go into that because if you truly don't sell drugs or do anything illegal for that matter; you don't go into the criminal justice beast. It's really simple. The victim slant of this doesn't hold much merit.

This is concludes my list of what I think white people don't like about black people. I'm sure someone will say that it doesn't address more issues or that this can be said about any other ethnic group. I'm not addressing other ethnic groups. I'm black and I've dealt mostly with white people. This is our time to work out things. Some blacks may call me a 'race traitor' for daring to speak out what we as an ethnic group need to be mindful of and what we need to do to blossom on the world stage.  I say to them 'thank you' for confirming that I need to do this.