YOU ARE VERY HARD TO SLEEP WITH…

Hm…

To that I say, “Oh really?” Because seriously, guys, the last time Honey said those words to me was when we were seeing each other and I was doing the big old hard to get! >:) Here’s the conversation. Wait, maybe I should set the scene first. I am an author after all. Imagine it’s the black of night and we’re snug in our little bed. Actually it’s a big old king but with Honey taking up a lot of the room my part of it is still tiny. Wide shoulders – arms bracketing his head, you get the picture right? If not, look to the left and you’ll see me hugging my side of the bed. *shakes head* That complaint will be blogged about next. Not really…maybe. So there I am. I can’t sleep. It’s book release week remember? So I stare into the blackness and listen to the sounds of the night. Which oddly enough have an animal making a very peculiar noise. Think that ticking noise that the creature in Predator made.

So I flop over onto my back and whisper, “What is that making noise?”

Honey grunts. Yeah we’d been in bed a while, but I pretended it was as if we’d just gotten between the sheets.

“It sounds like an alien.”

Honey doesn’t even move. He just speaks against his pillow. “What kind? An illegal alien or…?”

Oh yeah, he was funny while my heart was pounding. “This is serious,” I whisper really loud just in case Predator guy is listening to us. “Do you hear it?”

Now he pushes off up on elbows and cocks an ear. Just before he collapses back down he says, “Raccoon.”

I paused for a moment to wonder about how he knew all these things, but dammit, we all know about those fortuitous documentaries he watches. So I nod and take a deep breath feeling somewhat better until I hear a thud. I turn to ask, but he beats me to it.

“Possum.”

Hm. That was kind of quick I thought, but then something else came to me. “Hey do you think that raccoon is the creature that’s been poking holes in our front lawn?”

“No. I think someone with an overactive imagination should let her husband go to sleep without bothering him.”

I was quite for another full minute. Until he thought I was going let him go back to sleep. Yeah like that was ever going to happen. “But what if it is?”

“Is what?” He comes up on elbow and looks down at me.

“The raccoon wrecking our lawn.”

“Would you like me to go out there and talk with him?”

“You’d do that?”

Okay, the guy laughed which was phase two of my “I’m lonely in the middle of the night” plan. Phase one was waking him up, so score!

“If you wanted me to.”

Aww, now I felt bad about waking the poor guy up. “No that’s okay, go back to sleep.”

He does a big sigh and then asks, “What’s it’s going to take to get you to fall asleep?”

I thought about that for a millisecond and then whispered, “You telling me about one of the documentaries you watched recently.”

I was kidding but he was not people! I heard all about the gold rush. Did you know that in the Klondike it was all the women who ran the hotels where the men could eat and sleep in a bed who made all the money? Fascinating. So fascinating I fell asleep until Honey woke me up a few hours later because he couldn’t sleep now. *insert me staring right at you here* Then I told him a story that woke us both up. Well, more him that me if you know what I mean. *wink, wink*

So how’s your week been going? I bet you can’t guess what I’m working on now?

Riley