Wanting it all, Getting away from it all … And finding my center: An indie-folk musician’s yoga journey
This week’s blog entry was written by guest author Mary Bue. Mary is a graduate of Whole Life Yoga’s 200 hour yoga teacher training program. She can be contacted at marybue@gmail.com
I’ve always wanted to be a rock star. In high school I bought an electric guitar with a hot pink strap. I’d sit in my bedroom writing songs dripping with adolescent poetry. In the midst of this rock star fantasy, I found a short yoga practice in a teen magazine and started incorporating simple practices into my 15 year old life.
Eventually I had my own gigs, recorded and took my music on the road (leading to four CDs and performing in 38 states) . Yoga has been a parallel path. It helped to soothe my nerves and assisted in “keeping it all together” in this one-woman-band enterprise.
In Minneapolis years later, I was working with a booking agent to plan my tours – a dream come true. I’m not sure if it was Minnesota’s winter that made me lose my cool, a relationship ending or fear of putting my heart on the line – but on NYE of ’07, I made the decision to leave it all behind. Indie artist responsibility, insecurity of not being good/talented/cool enough, desire of getting what I hoped but not feeling like I deserved it – all inner signs pointed to running.
Months later I moved to Seattle. I met my teacher – Tracy Weber at Whole Life Yoga. Music took the back burner while I delved into my 200 hour teacher training.
As Viniyoga’s breath-centered asana began to penetrate my cells, it started to soothe my being. Looking back, the move was stressful. Things got worse before they got better as I moved deeper into the process of “going internal.” I was healing myself. I spent three years studying at Whole Life Yoga.
Yet, I started to feel the siren’s call of music. And what a better place to pursue it than the city where I got my start – Duluth, Minnesota. Again, I chose to leave it all behind and follow my heart’s desire.
This brings us to NOW. Depths of winter. Too often, it is 20 below zero. The mind starts rattling. I want to get away from it all. My home morning practice has become paramount to my sanity. I start looking into 500 hour yoga teacher training programs, feeling called to learn & evolve. My teacher is already in the thick of her training. I research other programs and eventually settle on Gary Kraftsow’s in California. In talks with the student advisor, she kindly offers the possibility of work study. I am pumped; I am filling out applications; I am … CRYING EVERY DAY.
Finally, after weeks of turmoil, I reach out to Dona (student advisor) and Tracy who had given her blessing for further study. I say that I must devote myself to music and give it the focus it deserves. In healing words, they offered me two great gifts: Time and the root of yoga: Union.
Tracy: “Mary, you have a very long life ahead of you and nothing is in your way from doing the training when the TIMING IS RIGHT.” Dona: “You are STILL DOING YOGA as you share this gift from a place of great awareness.”
With a blown mind, I am off to practice the guitar … and simultaneously practice yoga.
May you carry your yoga practice with you and find it – with great awareness – in all that you do.
Mary
Come visit Whole Life Yoga in Seattle, and check out Tracy Weber’s author page for information about the Downward Dog Mysteries series. MURDER STRIKES A POSE is available now from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Whole Life Yoga, and other retailers!
