"BoredomYou can fit two thousand four hundred and ninety sixtiny letter a’s on an a4 pagebased..."

“

Boredom

You can fit two thousand four hundred and ninety six

tiny letter a’s on an a4 page

based on fitting four of them firmly into the space of a

centimetre square.

Dad will say, “That’s diligence for you.”

Everyone else will call it a waste of time.

You can fit a whole tube of Smarties in your mouth

while dressing your little brother up in your Sunday best.

Grandma will laugh at the boy in the dress.

Granddad will nearly hit someone.

Your brother will be sent upstairs to change

head bowed in shame.

No one will notice the Smarties.

Mum says 56 bad words on the phone to Jamaica.

She is not impressed when you tell her so.

“Keep out of adult conversations,” she warns,

her mouth growing tight.

The pastor makes twenty-four references to hell

in the sermon at church and forgets to talk

about love. Granddad falls asleep.

If your bible has pictures

you should colour them in and count

how many men in the church wear white socks and black shoes.

Count the bitten fingernails and

how many people cry silently during prayer.

Count the number of cars that afternoon before your mother,

tired and lovely, pulls up on the pavement to collect you.

Count how many people shake their head

at her red nails, her tight jeans.

She looks like a star and they’re jealous.

You can fit the word lonely

four hundred and sixteen times

on the back of that same piece of paper.

Dad will say, “Don’t be silly

your brother will be out of hospital soon.”

Mum will be too stressed to talk.

You will go to live at Grandma’s, spending days

drinking Rooibos out of eggs cups,

studying God’s word and watching the sun.

You will learn to fear

The Most High

also

count how many times the

King James Bible uses the words, thee, thou and thy.

Keep a proper tally. Granddad can play any song on the harmonica.

Test him. He likes to be tested

(until he doesn’t know the answer.)

Then he will get angry

and say things he doesn’t mean.

There are one hundred and twenty seven roses

on the wallpaper in your new room.

There were more than that but you picked some away.

Your brother has been gone now for two months straight and

nobody will tell you anything.

Pink painkillers look like Smarties and

children will be children

so you escaped a beating…just.

Count how many tear drops it takes to make a cup of tea and

how many family friends are praying for you.

There are sixty-four red grapes on the bunch that someone brought.

Eat one after the other, really fast

without stopping.

Maybe you can visit the hospital too.

”