How Your Characters Might Recognize an Emotion Part I
Emotion, as much as any other part of a story, must be shown, not told. How much more effective is it to say
He clenched is fists until his fingernails dug painfully into his palms
…rather than
He was so angry, he saw red.
I’ve collected a list of actions characters display and participate in to communicate their emotions. Some are culled from other author’s writings–how they effectively communicated the emotion (effective for me, anyway) and others from books on body language. You’ll find some are in the main character’s POV; some from that of one who is watching. They help me make sure my character’s body language is in sync with what they’re feeling.
Here’s emotions A-F. Emotions G-Z are in the next post.
Please note: Where I add the section ‘You might write it this way’, these snippets are taken from published books I’ve read. Don’t use them! Simply let them inspire you.
Anger
What emotion do you see and why?
cold anger,
clenching jaws or grinding teeth
uncovering the teeth
headache
stomach ache
increased and rapid heart rate
sweating, especially your palms
feeling hot in the neck/face
shaking or trembling
dizziness
Emotionally you may feel:
like you want to get away
irritated
sad or depressed
guilty
resentful
anxious
like striking out verbally or physically
Also, you may notice that you are:
rubbing your head
cupping your fist with other hand
pacing
getting sarcastic
losing your sense of humor
acting in abusive/abrasive manner
craving a drink, a smoke or other substances that relax you
raising your voice
beginning to yell, scream, or cry
You might write it this way:
anger steaming behind him like coal smoke from a power plant
a stiff and righteous anger
Dangerous stillness about him
Faceful of bad attitude
testosterone that oozes like rank body odor from the kind of man who likes to throw his weight around
His hands were balled in fists, his arms and shoulders trembling
Its not like that, she said feeling defensive
Rachel loved to make lists. Now she ticked off my deadly sins on her fingers as she talked.
Dangerously close to pushing a button most people didn’t know existed
Felt his stomach tighten
swallowed a string of profanities
through clenched teeth
Anxiety
Photo credit: Peacock and Presley
Sweaty palms.
lip-compressionhttp://members.aol.com/nonverbal2/ten...,
lip-bite,
tongue-show,
tongue-in-cheek;
hand-to-hand, hand-to-body, and hand-behind-head hand-to-face
You might write it this way:
a smile limped across her face and back into her pocket
the air of a person clinging to a wall of soap
Her wounds were superficial, but her anxiety went bone-deep
Handshakes, tight smiles, a little awkwardness
Astonishment
the eyes and mouth opened wide, the eyebrows raised
Concentration
frown or wrinkle beneath the lower eyelids
You might write it this way:
Once he starts watching, a croc gnawing on his leg can’t get his attention
Tasted the interval of the delay for the presence of precious metal. His assay said: gold
Willed himself to his knees, struggled to his feet, and spun, disoriented and dizzy, searching for the way out
Deception
covering the mouth with the hands
rubbing the side of the nose
leaning away from you
micro shrug
voice pitch increases
Liars, he says, use more “negative emotion” words (hurt, ugly, nasty) and fewer first-person singulars
Depression
Recent Loss – through death, divorce, separation, broken relationship, loss of job, money, status, self-confidence, self-esteem, loss of religious faith, loss of interest in friends, sex, hobbies, activities previously enjoyed
forehead is wrinkled in the middle, but not across the whole breadth, as when the eyebrows are raised in surprise.
Change in Personality – sad, withdrawn, irritable, anxious, tired, apathetic Change in Sleep Patterns – insomnia, often with early waking or oversleeping, nightmares Change in Eating Habits – loss of appetite and weight, or overeating
Fear of losing control- harming self or others
Low self esteem- feeling worthless, shame, overwhelming guilt, self-hatred, “everyone would be better off without me” No hope for the future – believing things will never get better; that nothing will ever change
Other things to watch for- Suicidal impulses, statements, plans; giving away favorite things; previous suicide attempts
You might write it this way:
Her high cheekbones were sunken. Her eyes were dark circles staring out with bewilderment and fear, the bright blue color terrifyingly dim
A heaviness, a cloud of depression and weariness, seemed to draw all of Ashton’s features downward
He could see the weight in her walk
Like an emotional sticky tray
Like an emotional Venus fly trap
I felt weightless and anonymous
Youth left waiving from the platform as the train pulled out
His voice had the pallid, toneless quality of his skin
A sullen barista
Defiance
hold body and head erect, square shoulders and clench fists
Disgust
Photo credit: evidence-based living
curled upper lip
narrowed or partly closed eyes;
side-to-side head-shakes;
protrusions of the tongue.
guttural sounds (“ach” or “ugh”), a
nose is drawn up and wrinkled
sneers or snarls at another
Doubt
throat-clear is a nonverbal indication of doubt
Excitement
heart race
breathing quicken
cheeks flush
skin tingles
pupils dilate
You might write it this way:
If I’d had a tail, I’d have been wagging it like a dog getting a pat from his owner.
An intoxicating brew of fear, awe and ecstasy
Fear
tight musclescold hands or feet
fluttery stomach
shortness of breath
diarrhea or frequent urination
lower pulse rate
general feelings of weakness or in extreme cases, complete freezing-up, or paralysis
trembling lips or trembling body
fast heart beat, sweating
Fear may show in
release of apocrine odor
increase in heart/breathing rate
crouching, crying
faster eye-blink flashbulb eyes , staring eyes with dilated pupils
the fear grin, tense-mouth
hair-bristling, squirm cues
tightened muscle tension
§ sweaty palms throat-clearing
an audibly tense tone-of-voice
You might write it this way:
Her face had gone pale, her eyes glassy with fear. Her arms trembled
Staring in doe-eyed disbelief
Frisson of fear (delicious)
The maid looked even more nervous now and Pat instantly felt sorry for her. Someone wasn’t treating her right. You could always tell that with people
Zeke felt the jittery spike of adrenaline shoot through him and his heart banging against his ribs.
My breath was trapped somewhere in my body.
Her head throbbed steadily and her throat was rough and dry
Smacking of his heart against his ribs, the sweat-damp shirt clinging to his shoulders, the salt tinge burning his nostrils
Sweat was pouring off his forehead
Ground his molars
Sure the guard was able to hear the bass drum that was booming in my chest
He had not even a passing acquaintance with fear
Hovered on the brink of panic, keeping it at bay one breath at a time
My paranoia was bleeding outward
My blood just ran cold
Her stomach was in a knot and her throat was dry
When Calibrisi left, Jessica stood up and walked to the door, shut it, then stood for a moment and leaned against the door. She shut her yes and stood still. Then she walked back to her desk. She sat down, and stared at the phone.
a smile limped across her face and back into her pocket
the silence screamed at them
Lying
Listen for a subtle delay in responses to questions. An honest answer comes quickly from memory. Lies require a quick mental review of what they have told others to avoid inconsistency and to make up new details as needed.
Be conscious of their wording. Verbal expression can give many clues as to whether a person is lying, such as:
Lowered heads indicate a reason to hide something. If it is after an explanation, then he may be lying, unsure if what they said was correct Look into their eyes. Liars will consecutively look at you and look away a number of times.
People who look away while you are talking to them are thinking about something else.
Using/repeating your own exact words when answering a question
NOT using contractions
Avoiding direct statements or answers
Speaking excessively in an effort to convince
Speaking in a monotonous tone
Leaving out pronouns (he, she, it, etc.)
Speaking in muddled sentences
Allow silence to enter the conversation. Observe how uncomfortable and restless the person becomes.
Change the subject quickly. While an innocent person would be confused by the sudden shift in the conversation and may try to return to the previous subject, a liar will be relieved and welcome the change.
Watch his throat. A person may be either trying to lubricate their throat when he/she lies OR swallowing to avoid the tension built up
Watch hands, arms and legs, which tend to be limited, stiff, and self-directed when the person is lying. The hands may touch or scratch their face, nose or behind an ear, but are not likely to touch their chest or heart
See if they are telling you too much
Can you add to this list? How do you convey emotion in your characters?
More descriptors for your writing:
113 Ways to Characterize Your Protagonist
Jacqui Murray is the editor of a technology curriculum for K-fifth grade and creator of two technology training books for middle school. She is the author of Building a Midshipman, the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy midshipman. She is webmaster for five blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for Examiner.com, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers, IMS tech expert, and a weekly contributor to Write Anything and Technology in Education. Currently, she’s working on a techno-thriller that should be ready this summer. Contact Jacqui at her writing office or her tech lab, Ask a Tech Teacher.
Filed under: characters, descriptors, writers resources Tagged: body language, characterizations, characters, emotions
