Interview Regarding Men's Version of Romance with Bryan Fields

Today I'll be interviewing Bryan Fields, author of Life with a Fire-Breathing Girlfriend.


 




Life with a Fire-Breathing Girlfriend by Bryan Fields

Genre: Fantasy


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Back Jacket

A lot of guys claim to have hot girlfriends. David Fraser has one who actually breathes fire.

Rose Drake is a Dragoness in Human form, come to Earth for three years to soak up the local energy and increase her chances of having happy, healthy, baby hatchlings when she goes home. In exchange for his time and energy, David’s body and love life both undergo extreme makeovers. It sounds like the deal of a lifetime.

Fate doesn’t let David and Rose off so easily. A friend of theirs is murdered, their homeowner’s association starts harassing them, and they have to complete a quest for an Elven sage in order to stop a genocidal Unicorn from turning Earth into a radioactive wasteland.

After all, when you’re dating a Dragon, you’re already a hero. It says so in the fine print.

~*~*~*~*~

Growing up, I had often attributed the romance genre with rolling eyes. It was something older women read, bending back creased paperback covers featuring Fabio-type men posing with a billowing shirt and glistening chest. TV and media made fun of the old dames with their romance, as did the guys around me, shaking their heads and just leaving the silly old broad to it. And maybe this is where it came from, after all. Men. Who didn’t understand why anyone would read that garbage. Why not settle down to a nice mystery, or a horror, or a thriller?

Why not leave me the hell alone, Mr. Control-Everything?It wasn’t until my twenties that I ventured into this “silly” genre. After the shock wore off of reading sex scenes—which were a lovely way to pass the time—I realized it wasn’t a genre I could hang out in for too long. Romance novels tend to have a formula, which bores me. But they also tend to have impossibly gorgeous, successful, and somehow attainable men (for our heroine), which keeps me stopping back in after a while to get my dose.
This leads me to what romance really is. Fantasy. Fantasy men growing and maturing as only a figment of women’s imagination could conjure. Men changing. Old dogs learning new tricks. A giant asshole jerk becoming smitten, and then doing a complete 180 for the heroine.
Laughable in real life. But this isn’t real life, which is why it is the number one earning genre in the world.
Eat that, guys. But wait, guys must have this type of fantasy, too. The beautiful, perfect woman…Do guys write romance?I’ve recently read Life with a Fire-Breathing Girlfriend by Bryan Fields. A book deemed fantasy, I wasn’t expecting as much romance within the pages. But low and behold, women aren’t the only ones that write themselves into a wonder land.

So I went through and wrote down some similarities and differences between a romance book…and Bryan’s. Let’s see what he has to say about the similarities and differences.
1.      One thing about romance is the Insta-love. Soul mates. The heroine meets the hero and immediately they fall deeply in love.
 You have this concept in the very beginning of your book. They set eyes on each other and the choice is made. You explain it within the fantasy element, but still—insta-love is insta-love. Was this insta-love a thought process? Did you want this immediate romantic connection, or were you not thinking of that aspect when you wrote it? (“I felt complete.”)
 Oh, yes, I wanted it to be there.  I do believe that it is possible for people, in whatever gender combination you care to imagine, to identify someone they could connect to and fall in love with, and do it in very little time.  When I met my wife Noelle, I felt something more than “hey, an interesting person”.   There was a very real, very strong attraction, and things went very quickly for us. 
If that can happen in the real world, magic can certainly make it happen faster in a fantasy world. 
Now, here’s the guy part: I wanted it to happen as a rebuttal to every instance when someone has told another person, “But you’re such a good friend, I’d hate to lose you when we break up”.  That’s either fear talking or a cruel lie.  Ask anyone with a long-lasting, strong relationship- they will say one of the factors is that they started as friends and stayed friends, even as they fell in love.  Someone who really is such a good friend is *more* likely to be good relationship material. 
 David and Rose, sight unseen, took a chance on love, based on nothing more than a spark that said, ‘This could be the one’.  They had magic and the writer on their side, but if you never roll the dice, you have no chance of winning, period.
 [I love that last line. I could be a tagline for a great romance novel. And this is so much more real, more grounded, coming from a guy.]
 
2.      Often in romances, there is the longing period. The flash of desire, the wanting, the anxiety, and then the gratification. Even with insta-love, there is a waiting period before anything happens. I find it interesting that in man-land (your book), your characters chose each other, kissed, and basically fell into comfort, right away.
Were you thinking about that situation being realistic when you wrote it? I think women might think the woman was giving in too soon, but you were totally blasé in writing it. Do men, in fact, like the immediate comfort level of insta-love?
If men didn’t, prostitutes wouldn’t make nearly as much money as they do.  [yowza! jazz hands]Men and women process emotion differently, obviously.  I don’t get the emotional appeal of the backing and forthing, does-he or doesn’t-he part of the romance genre.   Well, I get it as a cornerstone of that type of story – it prolongs the emotion arc, allows much more exploration and exegesis of feeling and motivation for each character.  But it drive me ****ing nuts.  I want to grab the guy by his Fabio-like locks and shout “Just tell her!!!!” 

It also makes me crazy when people in stories don’t communicate.  A person who loves you is going to be willing to hear you out and help you get through issues.  They will understand if you’re embarrassed or ashamed, and hopefully will be accepting and supportive. My solution to all of that is the acceptance between David and Rose.  It means they each accept the other person totally, unconditionally, and enthusiastically.  Every physical need and desire, every emotional nuance, your partner already knows about, and they still love you back. 

I don’t think it’s realistic at all, no, because it satisfies both male and female emotional needs.  Men get the concise, immediate feedback they respond to, and women have in-depth, unerring certainty of their partner’s needs, wants, desires, feelings and fantasies, all in real time.  The acceptance also keeps that level of intimacy from driving both parties insane.    

3.      Perfection. What romance doesn’t have the perfect man? Gorgeous, rich, powerful, and solely choosing the narrator of the story above all others. Maybe this is why men roll their eyes.
Oh lookie, you have the same thing. This trait isn’t limited to woman’s books.
Rose is absolutely gorgeous (before becoming more so), only has eyes for the hero, has a bunch of money, and is all about the nookie. So…you were writing your dream girl, then?
That’s part of it, of course.  I certainly have and have had fantasies about ‘the perfect woman’, and I know my wife has her list of dream dates.  There is also a story-based reason for it.  It’s an extension of the idea of the acceptance.  David loses weight, muscles up, gets huge hair, and, well, thankfully Rose isn’t a size queen.  The reason given in the book is that Rose needs David’s love and sense of wonder to make her eggs stronger and give her more of them when it’s time for her to have a mating flight.  Getting the best results, and the most energy, requires each of them be the other’s idea of perfect.







4.      You mention that it is her first time for sex. You didn’t elaborate. Is this something that is important to men? The idea of the virginal girl? Or was this more in relation to her first time on Earth?
Some guys are obsessed with virginity, and for some cultures, it’s a major issue.  In this case, though, it’s strictly part of Rose being new to Earth.  She’d been in that body for about four hours total.  She has a new toy and she finally gets to take it out a play with it.  [Literally—ha!]
5.      There was a part in this story that made me want to punch you in the mouth. After they wake up that first day, she cooks the hero breakfast. Then the hero shows her how to use the dishwasher while he goes up to do something else.
Dude, David shows her how to use the dishwasher? A little 1940’s, hmmm? I take it a woman cooking and cleaning up is on your list of perfect qualities?
You also have Rose learn belly dancing, and put a stripper pole in the game room. *quirked eyebrow*
Just because the premise is an updated version of ‘I Dream of Jeannie”?  No, that type of lifestyle isn’t to my liking.  I am not Fred Flintstone. David showed Rose how to use the dishwasher because her Masquerading as Human class didn’t cover any modern appliances.  As Rose tells David, the last time her mother was here was in 1969.  Rose’s education covered slow cookers, casseroles, fondue and how to make bread in an empty Folgers can placed over an open fire.  Digger bread, if you’ve never heard of it.  Her mother’s most emphatic warning was against taking the brown acid. 

Rose takes up belly dancing in part because David gets amazingly turned on when turns her skin green and dances for him.  He is a geek, and he responds as one.  Some guys love the Slave Leia look; David likes Orion women. As a Dragoness, Rose’s cultural norm is, “If you’ve got it, flaunt it.”  Dragons are arrogant, self-centered, egotistical, and utterly convinced that all other forms of life are inferior.  They thrive on attention and admiration.  Rose *needs* David’s attention to be on her, and she does work to keep it.  A stripper pole is a form of exercise that has a very high degree of attention-getting to it.  That’s also why she put her spinning cycle in front of David’s weight machine. 

6.      One of the biggest differences in this romance and a woman’s is…the sex. Your book just stopped with a hand heading down south. Or when David unbuttons Rose’s shirt and has a look, he doesn’t tweak a nipple, or fondle, or anything. I was like—wait, what? You’re just going to walk away? She’s naked under there, man! Get busy!
This isn’t a YA, so why didn’t you share a little detail in the sex bits? Inquiring minds would love to know…
 
I know, right?  The boy has a will of iron.  I have no doubt he did, well, enjoy the latest renovations.
The truth is, I’ve tried writing erotica and I’m terrible at it.  Since I can’t do it well, I stick with good old fade to black.  That doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about it.
To begin with, Rose’s idea of kinky is different from a human woman’s, since she’s starting off by mating outside her species.  She doesn’t have any inherent aversions to any toys, or other things like that.  In the third book, which I’m currently writing, Rose gets stoned and has her first lesbian experience, followed in the morning by her and David’s first threesome.   At one point in the second book, ‘The Land Beyond All Dreams’, Rose sends David to study swordsmanship at a Dwarven monastery.  His instructor is a Dwarven woman; Rose picks her instead of a man because David will be hornier than Hell when he gets home.  She doesn’t mind that David has the hots for his instructor because she knows he’ll be coming back to her.
What Rose doesn’t like, and won’t put up with, is bondage or dominance.  She can’t stand being tied up or restrained in any way – she gets violent, and you don’t want someone who can tear cars apart and dismember elk with her bare hands getting angry.  Same thing if someone tries to dominate her; she doesn’t bow down to any shaved monkey, and is quite happy to kill and eat anyone who tries it.  
Now, if David asks her to change form so he can have a night of hot sex with Angelina Jolie or a succubus in a Hooter’s girl outfit, Rose is right there for him.  [Good lord, you kick the sex up a bit in the third book it sounds like. Except, we don’t get a peep show. How unfortunate J] 
 
7.      This is one thing that would never fly with women. 3 years. David only gets three years with Miss Perfection. He loves her, he is soul mates with her, but he only gets three years.
In woman land, this would probably be the whole plot. In fact, a great many romance books have no more plot than this very idea. And yes, David is totally fine with it. He’s happy to get sex with a hot chick for three years, and then he’s okay with letting her go.
Would you, as a guy, be cool with that? I know that guys are more of the here-and-now, but that wouldn’t make you squeamish at all? It wouldn’t be a black cloud, knowing your love would someday have to leave?
*asking with a romance writer’s desperation*
Any guy who couldn’t accept the three-year limit wouldn’t be chosen as a companion.  It is a sad element, but one that is needed for the initial story.  Normally, it would be depressing, and stressful, and create an insane level of desperation in most people.  That’s why the acceptance counter-programs the companions against that black cloud. Once the companion agrees to the relationship, all this stuff happens that is needed to make the relationship work.  It’s not automatic, or natural.  The fantasy relationship can’t work without the fantasy elements to support it.
The major problem with a three-year time limit is that you can only tell so many stories inside that window.  So, that needed to be changed.  That change turned out to be one of the hardest parts of the book to write.   But it had to happen.

8.      I started writing romance because I wanted to envision myself catching a perfect man. I wanted to live that dream. It seems like this book is your dream. You are a gamer, and an IT guy, and you like fantasy—were you kind of living in your own game? I mean, in sub-book three, you are basically leveling up, yes? Was this a world and situation you would love to be dropped into?
Sure, when I was twenty.  Now, closing in on fifty and having a family, it would be a lot harder to say yes.  If I could get my wife to sign off and we both got the physical makeover that comes with it, maybe that would work.  Maybe if I pointed out that our would-be third party can make herself look like Alexander Skarsgård, I might be able to sell her on the idea. Even if I didn’t land a hot dragon babe of my own, I’d love to be dropped into that world – because they’d be there, and that would be glorious.

9.      There is a part about this book I really enjoyed for the significance, and that is when the other girl dragon, Harmony, chose Ember. Ember wasn’t gay, but went with her immediately, like David did with Rose. It gives validation to the beginning scene, and it shows your disregard for political ballyhoo. It worked and gave gravity to the connection between the dragons and humans. Was that your intention? Or were you more concerned with the girl-on-girl action? J
Well, the girl on girl is less important when the story fades to black.  I did want to show another partnership, one very different from Rose and David’s.  And I wanted it to happen with no fanfare at all.  Ember made a choice of who to love, and the story continues.  The one overtly political comment I put in and kept in was a reference to a scumbag church known for conduct that is an embarrassment to real Christians everywhere, and I have yet to hear a word of disagreement with that assessment.

10.   One thing romance novels often lack (except for mine) is a strong heroine. At least lately. Yet you, a man, wrote a strong heroine into your book. You could’ve made her weaker in her human form, making the hero have to protect her more. I enjoy the qualities you gave to Rose. Was that intended, or an offshoot of what you think a dragon as a human would embody?
Who wants to read about a wimp who can’t run her own life or live without a boyfriend?  On second thought, skip that – rhetorical question.  I wouldn’t want to read a book with a precious little princess for a heroine, and I’m not going to write one.  [Amen brother—I’m in the same boat!] I can’t imagine a dragon being weaker than a human anyway, but as part of the storyline, she does come in much stronger than David.  He has some levelling up to do. 

David is a Hero.  At the start of the book, he’s maybe 2nd level.  Even though Rose is stronger than he is, protecting her is in his nature.  He fights for her, and catches her when she falls.  By the end of the book, he has an idea of what being a Hero means, and he’s starting to play up to her level.
11.   I noticed you didn’t end the book after the three years. Rose doesn’t have to go home yet. So…sequel?
Yes.  Would you like to meet David’s Dwarven drill instructor?Excerpt from “The Land Beyond All Dreams” – contents may change before release

A Dwarven woman emerged from one of the buildings and made a ‘come here’ gesture.  I jogged over and bowed. 

She was nearly as tall and wide as the Dwarf I’d met downstairs, wearing a short sarong around her hips and a length of linen wrapped several times around her chest.  Her body was muscled like a racehorse, but she still had the curves of a pin-up queen.  Her chin and throat had moko-like tattoos extending down from her lower lip, with strips of beard knotted into cornrows running between the tattoo lines.  The sides of her head were shorn clean and well-tanned, leaving a Mohawk braided into waist-length cornrows.  Her torso, upper arms, and thighs were covered in tattoos, all lines of ogham script.  I assumed they were passages from her sacred texts.  Her upper lip was shaved as well.  Turns out it’s the mark of the order running Stonewall.   
“Greetings, Dragonbound.  I am Ideal Maraz.  I am responsible for your improvement while you study with us.”  She handed me a folded sarong.  “Put this on.”  She pointed to the building behind her and added, “In there.  Leave your things.”
There’s no way I’m gonna’ run around here with my dork hanging out.  I smiled at her and went to get changed.  The building had two hammocks, a stone ledge with a few personal items on it, and two chamber pots.  Not exactly four-star accommodations, but I probably wouldn’t be in here a lot.  Hopefully my unmet roomie doesn’t snore.  I got changed and tied my hair back.
When I came out of the building, I asked, “If you don’t mind the question, I was wondering what ‘Ideal’ signified?”
She smiled.  “I embody the physical and spiritual goals you should aspire to.  Normally you would have a male Ideal, but the Dragon you are bound to insisted on a woman.  Still, we can provide a male Ideal for you to reference if you wish.  I am here to make you greater, not your Dragon.”
I hooked my thumb over my shoulder.  “So the building I changed in…?”
“Is my cell.  How else will you conform to your Ideal except by being with them?”
“I guess.  It just seems a little, well, close quarters.”
Her eyebrow went up.  “I’ll promise not to stare while you relieve yourself, if that will help.”
I decided to stop digging myself any deeper.  “No, no, that’ll be fine.  It’s just…  I’m happy to be studying under you.  With you.”   
Maraz smiled.  “With me.”  She pointed towards the central group of buildings.  “It is time to begin your lessons, Dragonbound.  This way to the training ground.” 
She led me towards a sand-floored arena where a dozen or so students were already doing drills.  While we walked, I asked, “Am I supposed to say, ‘yes, Ideal’, ‘no, Ideal’, anything like that?”
“If you wish.  Most of my students call me ‘sheep-raping bitch’.  Feel free to be more creative.”
<. . .>
I shook my head again.  “We used to have gladiators.  The fights we have now are… formalized.  No permanent injuries to either fighter, no battles to the death.  You get points for blows to the head, no hitting below the belt, no contact to the legs.  That sort of thing.”
“I see.”  Maraz stood up.  “You take no delight in battle.  There is no joy in your heart.  When you reached the top of the stairs, did you feel no pride?”
“I was glad.”  I stood up and shrugged.  “I’ve enjoyed fighting before, and been happy to be alive after being in danger.  It’s just… I don’t enjoy hurting people.  I don’t want to enjoy hurting people.  If that’s what you’re trying to teach me, I don’t want to learn it.”
She shook her head.  “That is sadistic glee, and it is not what we aspire to.  All warriors seek to unify body, mind, and spirit, to attain the state of acting without intention.  We seek to go further.  We seek to attain battle-joy, the place where life burns so bright that lesser foes are struck down by the mere sound of your laughter.  When you touch this place, you are a god of war, and armies will run before you.”
“How do we get there?” I asked.
Maraz smiled.  “We fight.”  I didn’t quite dodge her fist.
By the time we broke for dinner, I felt like a well-tenderized steak.  Maraz helped me off the sands and walked me to the dining hall.  My hands were shaking and one eye was swollen shut, but I managed to carry my own bowl of stew to the table and eat it without help.  At least Maraz was sporting a few new scrapes & bruises as well.
Still, I was beginning to understand what Maraz was talking about.  There is elation in overcoming failure, in discovering new limits and surpassing them in turn.  Maraz laughed as she pummeled me, laughed again when I struck back, and cheered for me when I managed to strike her, no matter how poorly.
<. . . >
Back in our hut, Maraz undressed and climbed into her hammock.  I wasn’t quite ready for bed, so I pulled my phone and a set of headphones out of my bag and went back outside.  The second sun had finally gone down, and the sky was changing from violet to black.
The rainbow-colored planetary rings were gleaming in the night, and it took me a moment to realize that they were in a different part of the sky than they were the last time I came to Rose’s world.  I went back into the hut and asked, “Maraz, where is the city of Tianisa from here?”
“On the other side of the world, in the far west of the northern continent.  You’re not missing much; it’s the rainy season there.”  She gave me her raised eyebrow and asked, “What are you holding?”
“It, well, it stores information for me.  Music, images, things like that.  I thought I’d listen to a little music before I went to sleep.  Just to relax.”
“Hmmm.”  She rolled out of the hammock and pulled her robe on.  “I would like to hear music from your world.  If you don’t mind.”
“Not at all.”  I changed the headphones for a speaker dock and went back outside.  We found a comfy spot near the cliff edge, giving us an amazing view of the bay.  The light from the rings danced on the water, and the village looked like a swarm of fireflies moving through the jungle.
I picked out a few instrumental pieces since I didn’t want to have to mess around with translating lyrics.  I thought they would be good for kicking back and watching the night sky.  They gave Maraz other ideas.
Maraz hopped to her feet, pulled me up, and said, “Dance with me.”  How could I refuse?  Then she dropped her robe, pulled mine off, and hauled us both to the edge of the cliff.  There wasn’t room to do any of the court dances I learned in the Society, so I took her hand and led off into a waltz.  After the first twirl, she picked up the steps in no time.
Dancing on the edge of a half-mile drop should have scared the crap out of me.  Instead, I was exhilarated.  The beauty of the night, the music, the prospect of imminent death, and, in all honesty, the proximity of naked female flesh-it all combined into a state of total, live-for-the-moment euphoria.  You know the Fool card in a tarot deck?  I was that dude.
When the music stopped, Maraz pulled my head down next to hers and whispered, “Do you want to lie with me?”
The answer was pretty obvious already.  I started to answer and got nothing but “Uhhh…”  There was no point in lying, but I couldn’t bring myself to admit the truth. 
Maraz gripped my hands, holding tight.  “Thisis how you should feel.  Fighting me or bedding me, you should feel the same joy.” 
“No offence, Maraz, but being with you… I think I’d be too nervous and guilty to enjoy it, or even to do my part well.”  I gave her a half-hearted shrug as an apology.  “Comes with dating a Dragon.”
Maraz laughed.  “David, all Ideals take a vow of celibacy.  Sleeping with students is forbidden.  That doesn’t mean I can’t make you think about it if you need motivation.”  She stepped away and picked up her robe.  “Good night, David.  Thank you for the music.”
I watched her walk back to our hut and burst out laughing.  I held my arms up to the night sky and shook my head.  “It is going to be a long three months,” I muttered.  I picked up my gear and headed off to bed. 
 
 AUTHOR BIO     By day, I’m a mild-mannered IT tech; by night, a writer who spends too much time in online games.  I grew up reading classical authors such as Verne, Burroughs, Wells, Haggard, and Lovecraft, often in conjunction with large doses of Monty Python, Wild Wild West, and Hee-Haw.  My current influences include Doctor Who, Girl Genius, and An Idiot Abroad. I began writing professionally as a member of the content design team for the MMORPG Istaria: Chronicles of the Gifted.  My first published short stories appeared in the anthologies The Mystical Cat and Gears and Levers III in 2012. I live in Denver with my wife Noelle and daughter Alissa.  The three of us can often be found prowling around Istaria, Wizard City, and the wilds of Azeroth.  I also make occasional side jaunts to scavenge bits of ancient technology in the radioactive ruins of the Grand Canyon Province.
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