What is Underneath Shame

More Joy I had asked Ms. H., after reading the latest draft of my memoir, what more she might want. ”I think you need more joy.” Right. More joy. Even as I asked her, I knew what she would say. I, too, want to write about the joys of transitioning and living as a transsexual man. But when I imagine how the words will fit on the page, how I can best describe this joy, a part of me wants to say, “Just don’t fucking transition! It’s too hard.” Up close, there isn’t much joy. I seem to have constructed a transsexual narrative in which the whole thing is very hard and difficult and not anything I would ever recommend to anyone. Why did you…