A Most Shocking Day

Serious kudos to the Mayo Clinic.

This place operates with a sort of efficiency I’ve never before experienced. I had three tests scheduled today. One at 7:30, another at 10:30, another at 1:30. That’s a lot of waiting between tests. When I finished my 7:30 test, I went to the area where the 10:30 would be given to see if I could possibly be taken in earlier. Sure! Why not? I was out of there by 9:30. That worked so well, I zipped over to the 1:30 appointment to see if I could make the magic happen again. I was in and out by 10:30, back to the hotel and napping by 11, with all test results already in the computer and winging their way to my doctor. Unreal. Then John and I went out for a leisurely lunch and an afternoon of hanging out with the Midwife. (Yes, we’re both hanging out with the midwife. John’s reading the manuscript as I edit).

For those of you yelling at me because I’m working while here, I need to set you straight. Being able to work is joy for me. First, I get to lose myself in the world of people who are ever so much more screwed up than I am. Second, I love writing. It’s that simple.

My first test today was an EMG, which I bet a bunch of you have had, followed by that stick-needles-in-your-muscles test, the correct name of which I’ve forgotten and which is not as bad as it sounds. I’ve learned my iPod is my friend during those two tests. For the first, I listened to oldies, but the technician scolded me for tapping my toes in time to the music, so for the second, I switched to my mindfulness meditation music, sung by the beautiful Anh Huong Nguyen, whom I know from the Mindfulness Center in Oakton, Virginia. Perfect. I barely felt a thing.

Second test involved more “sweat” stuff (they are very into sweat here), although this time I didn’t actually have to sweat, thank goodness. That was followed by some breathing tests, which were followed by 5 minutes on the tilt table. Five minutes was enough. I really am not sure why being strapped to a table set 90 degrees to the floor was so icky feeling, but it was. I’ve heard that people with serious fainting problems, which I fortunately do not have, have to spend about 45 minutes on the tilt table. I would rather go back in the oven.

The final test of the day involved a really big needle that I don’t want to think about, so we’ll move right along! I just checked the instructions for tomorrow’s test. Here they are:

a) Be sure to get a good night’s sleep the night before the test.

b) Do not take any sleep aid, pain medications, alcohol or tranquilizers the night before the test.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t think “a” is going to be possible for me without a little bit of “b” tonight.

On another note, I’m almost finished Geraldine Brooks’ absolutely amazing People of the Book, so any suggestions for what I should read next on my Kindle are most welcome!