Things I Learned While Writing AS YOU TURN AWAY

 

I did something incredible last week. I finished AS YOU TURN AWAY. For the last time, I went through and tweaked and polished sentences, fixed wording, changed scenes, and ramped up character development. I altered plot twists that needed a bit of fixing, and went through each beta reader document. I spent hours on a final spell/grammar check and laughed at some of Word’s funniest suggestions. And then when I’d changed the last thing, I saved and closed my document and breathed a sigh. Of relief, of terror, and of gratitude.

AS YOU TURN AWAY is done, and I don’t know how to feel about that. I don’t think I’ll ever know how to feel about that.

I woke the next day and it was sort of weird and awesome knowing I didn’t HAVE to work on a novel before work. I could read. I could do the dishes glaring at me from the sink. I could piddle around online or go play with my dogs or my kitties.

But I couldn’t write for Jonah or Quinn.

It’s a weird mix of emotions. AS YOU TURN AWAY has been part of my life for some time now, from the earliest idea in December 2012 to writing the first two (really bad) chapters in January 2013, to doubting if I could do this thing. AS YOU TURN AWAY began to come together in May of 2013 when I went back to it and wrote in earnest; by June, I was halfway and in love with this story and these characters. I traveled for parts of May and July, and spent most of June-July looking for a job. In August I went to work at a new job and my writing time suffered, but I pushed through. I finished on October 24th, then put AS YOU TURN AWAY for awhile so that I could work on a new project for awhile, then come back to AYTA for edits. I edited in December, then again in February.

Now it’s done. In just a few weeks, Jonah and Quinn’s story will be in the world. In reader’s hands, on their Nook, Kindle, Kobo, etc. And hopefully, in reader’s hearts.

“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell

When I started AS YOU TURN AWAY, it was at a very odd, change-filled point in my life. I’d left a job I loved. A writing partnership/friendship that had grown toxic was ending. I was beginning a new relationship. I won’t say I was actually depressed, but despite being so happy in some ways, I was struggling in others. I wasn’t sure if I still wanted to write, if I still COULD write, much less a novel. The winter of 2013 hit me HARD.

Then I really lost myself in Jonah and Quinn’s story, and I realized: I wasn’t just writing a romance. I was writing a story about learning to love yourself – which is what *I* was doing. I don’t believe in basing characters on people I know, and I definitely wouldn’t say I wrote a lot of myself into any characters in AS YOU TURN AWAY. But there are bits wound through – the themes of self-love being just as important as romantic love. The small, Southern town and the people there, and the notion that “family” doesn’t have to be “blood” as well. If you look hard, you’ll see a few of my core beliefs in AS YOU TURN AWAY.

This book saved me, inspired me, and taught me things about love. About giving love. Accepting love. Loving myself. More than a romance, it’s a book about coming home. About forgiveness, and growth, and accepting that happiness doesn’t always look how you thought it would.

If any of my readers feel anything after reading AS YOU TURN AWAY, I hope it’s that.