Critique Workshop #13: THE SPACE BETWEEN
Title: THE SPACE BETWEEN
Genre: Adult Contemporary SuspenseWord Count: 90,000
Query:
Dear Agent:
Yelling hurtful words to a best friend is one thing, but dedicated DEA agent Deanna Ellis belittles her partner moments before hellish gunfire kills her. Now choked by haunting survivor’s guilt, Ellis vows to uncover the reason their biggest case yet nosedived into chaos. First, she must find the at-large murderer.
Everyone impedes her pursuit. The DEA head honchos deny her involvement into the official investigation while her boss argues she’s unfit for active duty. A colleague blatantly accuses her of selling out her partner and threatens revenge. Worsening matters, her partner’s family demands answers to their sister’s death as the killer tries unnerving Ellis with taunting phone calls.
When the new Special Agent in Charge suspiciously transfers Ellis to help an undercover FBI agent in Miami, Ellis fears another deterrent. But then the killer hints he’s in Miami too. Neck-deep in the new assignment, she discovers macabre betrayal; she’s entrapped. Several agents’ lives rest in her hands, forcing her to reach within for courage as she learns both justice and treachery can be bought, and whatever skulks in the void between guilt and redemption is, to her, the space between.
THE SPACE BETWEEN is a 90,000 word contemporary suspense novel set in Atlanta and a rainy Miami.
First 250:
Fifteen days after the worst night of her life, DEA agent Deanna Ellis stood outside the dark entrance of O’Grady’s Bar in Atlanta. The neon sign above the wooden door buzzed an incomprehensible beat with the O flashing at random. The air hung heavier than a typical June evening, the result of a hard afternoon rain.
Ellis inhaled an unsteady breath, moved her hand to the brass doorknob, and stopped. Her thoughts replayed the funeral she attended a few hours earlier. She turned to Senior Special Agent David Ambers. Her boss had changed into a fresh white shirt for his black suit. His brown curly hair kinked tighter when wet.
“You okay?” Ambers asked. His musk cologne filled her with warmth and teased reassurance.
“I still don’t understand why I can’t be involved with the investigation,” Ellis said.
He sighed, his brown-eyed gaze softening. “Let’s not get into this now. Everyone’s waiting.”
Her trembling fingers clenched. She didn’t want to go inside.
Ambers escorted her across the threshold.
Two dozen pairs of eyes studied her. Colleagues, all passing judgment. On the landing, three steps higher than anyone else, Ellis’ shoulders sagged under their scrutiny. After hours of interrogation, the official report concluded she acted with courage. No fault rested with her, yet she continued to doubt her conscience.
She did everything possible that night, didn’t she? With the van’s high beams blinding her, she aimed and shot the best she could. Hadn’t she?
Genre: Adult Contemporary SuspenseWord Count: 90,000
Query:
Dear Agent:
Yelling hurtful words to a best friend is one thing, but dedicated DEA agent Deanna Ellis belittles her partner moments before hellish gunfire kills her. Now choked by haunting survivor’s guilt, Ellis vows to uncover the reason their biggest case yet nosedived into chaos. First, she must find the at-large murderer.
Everyone impedes her pursuit. The DEA head honchos deny her involvement into the official investigation while her boss argues she’s unfit for active duty. A colleague blatantly accuses her of selling out her partner and threatens revenge. Worsening matters, her partner’s family demands answers to their sister’s death as the killer tries unnerving Ellis with taunting phone calls.
When the new Special Agent in Charge suspiciously transfers Ellis to help an undercover FBI agent in Miami, Ellis fears another deterrent. But then the killer hints he’s in Miami too. Neck-deep in the new assignment, she discovers macabre betrayal; she’s entrapped. Several agents’ lives rest in her hands, forcing her to reach within for courage as she learns both justice and treachery can be bought, and whatever skulks in the void between guilt and redemption is, to her, the space between.
THE SPACE BETWEEN is a 90,000 word contemporary suspense novel set in Atlanta and a rainy Miami.
First 250:
Fifteen days after the worst night of her life, DEA agent Deanna Ellis stood outside the dark entrance of O’Grady’s Bar in Atlanta. The neon sign above the wooden door buzzed an incomprehensible beat with the O flashing at random. The air hung heavier than a typical June evening, the result of a hard afternoon rain.
Ellis inhaled an unsteady breath, moved her hand to the brass doorknob, and stopped. Her thoughts replayed the funeral she attended a few hours earlier. She turned to Senior Special Agent David Ambers. Her boss had changed into a fresh white shirt for his black suit. His brown curly hair kinked tighter when wet.
“You okay?” Ambers asked. His musk cologne filled her with warmth and teased reassurance.
“I still don’t understand why I can’t be involved with the investigation,” Ellis said.
He sighed, his brown-eyed gaze softening. “Let’s not get into this now. Everyone’s waiting.”
Her trembling fingers clenched. She didn’t want to go inside.
Ambers escorted her across the threshold.
Two dozen pairs of eyes studied her. Colleagues, all passing judgment. On the landing, three steps higher than anyone else, Ellis’ shoulders sagged under their scrutiny. After hours of interrogation, the official report concluded she acted with courage. No fault rested with her, yet she continued to doubt her conscience.
She did everything possible that night, didn’t she? With the van’s high beams blinding her, she aimed and shot the best she could. Hadn’t she?
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