Frodo’s Halo: 2013 YALLFest Recap

This past weekend in Charleston, South Carolina, I participated in a young adult book festival called “YALLFest.” (Get it? YA books? The South? “y’all”?) The festival ran like a well-oiled machine thanks mainly to the brilliance and hard work of my friends Margaret Stohl, Melissa De La Cruz, and .

I moderated a panel on contemporary realism in young adult literature with a whole gang of brilliant people, including Rainbow Rowell whom I had never met, but who is now hands-down one of my favorite people ever. Here is a picture of me on stage during that panel. I appear to be doing some sort of strange salute.

(From L: Rainbow Rowell, Stephanie Perkins, David Levithan, Ellen Hopkins, Gayle Forman, Rachel Cohn, Aaron Hartzler.)

Directly following, I participated in the “After the Rainbow” panel about LGBT YA, sort of a recap of our “Openly YA” tour, moderated this time by straight (but not narrow) Dan Ehrenhaft.

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(From L: Aaron Hartzler, Bill Konigsberg, David Levithan, Alex London.)

Rounding out the day’s events was something called “YA Smackdown” which was orchestrated by the dashing Adam Gidwitz and the beautiful Gayle Forman. This event was sort of…well…indescribable. Allow me to sum it up (very poorly) by saying it was a bunch of YA authors playing improv games with suggestions by an incredibly enthusiastic, sold-out audience.

During this event, two teams of authors were tasked with writing lyrics to the tune of popular chart toppers using books suggested by the audience. The title I was given was Lord of the Rings. The song? Beyoncé’s “Halo.” It was a time crunch, but I turned out some lyrics. Barnabas Miller took to the mic and sang like the rock god that he is. Below is the video that resulted.

Also, due to public demand, I’ve pasted the lyrics beneath, just in case you want to sing along. Or take this idea to Broadway. I mean, if Spiderman can be a musical, maybe we can get Beyoncé to play Galadriel?

FRODO

Lyrics by Aaron Hartzler

(To be sung to Beyonce’s “Halo”)

Remember that ring you found?

Well baby it’s really bad

It was forged in the fires of Mount Doom

It’s making Middle Earth real sad

Frodo’s gonna save the world

He’s a little Hobbit from The Shire

Give him that ring and some pipe-weed

And send him off to the fire

Now that Frodo’s been awakened

Every Hobbit rule he’s breakin’

It’s the risk that he’s takin’

He ain’t never gonna let you down.

Everywhere he’s going now

Saruman can see his face

But Sam will never leave you, Frodo

He knows you’re our saving grace

An elf, a wizard, and a dwarf

Are fightin’ hard to keep you safe

Strider’s gonna fight the orcs off

And help you go all the way

I can feel you Frodo, Frodo, Frodo

I can see you’re so close, so close, so close

I can feel you Frodo, Frodo, Frodo

I can see you’re so close, so close

Frodo, ooo, ooo

Gollum used to love that ring

Kept him in the darkest night

It’s his Preciousss that he really wants

Cause he’s addicted to its light

But Frodo swore he’d take that ring

And toss it back into the fire

He’ll even lose a finger now

So middle earth can have a king again

Now that Frodo’s been awakened

Every Hobbit rule he’s breakin’

It’s the risk that he’s takin’

He ain’t never gonna let you down.

Everywhere he’s going now

Saruman can see his face

But Sam will never leave you, Frodo

He knows you’re our saving grace

An elf, a wizard, and a dwarf

Are fightin’ hard to keep you safe

Strider’s gonna fight the orcs off

And help you go all the way

I can feel you Frodo, Frodo, Frodo

I can see you’re so close, so close, so close

I can feel you Frodo, Frodo, Frodo

I can see you’re so close, so close

Frodo, ooo, ooo

I can feel you Frodo, Frodo, Frodo

I can see you’re so close, so close, so close

I can feel you Frodo, Frodo, Frodo

I can see you’re so close, so close

Frodo, ooo, ooo

Frodo, ooo, ooo

Frodo, ooo, ooo, oh