THE CURSE OF…

It makes them angry. That’s the thing to remember. Something similar happens with music. An evolved human might listen to Coltrane or Scriabin, Miles Davis or Mozart. They might choose Sondheim or Cole Porter one day, Marianne Faithfull or Vedvik/Tillman the next. Perhaps a Puccini aria? Patsy Cline? A Mahler symphony? But such individuals are rare. Most subsist entirely on a musical diet of whatever pop songs are being aggressively marketed, and a substantial subset are fanatically devoted to particular performers or types of music – from bubblegum to thrash metal – and loathe everything else. Brought into contact with the unfamiliar, these folks are not merely uninterested. They’re furious.

Classical music is pretentious. Jazz is boring. Modern opera? Electronica? Are you kidding? It’s an outrage such things even exist.

This is not encouraging for artists of any sort.

And so we come to books...

So many fans of Horror despise everything else. And how many Romance readers ever deviate from their chosen genre? Science Fiction devotees? Mystery fans? This can grow even more specialized. Aficionados of NA MM Dystopian Paranormal Westerns apparently detest everything outside those parameters – it’s the Curse of Amazon. Millions of titles, countless categories. Literature as product. Books by the pound. Correction: by the ton.

By the megaton.

Sadly, we’ll see more of such attitudes. In the literary world, professional standards have largely ceased to exist. The proliferation of self-published novels, unblemished by grammar or punctuation, the popularity of Write Your Novel in Thirty Minutes events, the various supposed organizations for writers (which exist merely to persuade readers that they too must be published), all contribute to this decline. Even ancillary fields like literary criticism have largely been obliterated. What passes for book reviews these days reminds me of the sort of customer comments that once appeared on the Sears website about headphones or oven mitts. “I hate all that prose and literary stuff,” says a reviewer for one of my own novels on Amazon. Another complains bitterly about “descriptions” and “dialogue.” Still another resents “all those characters.” Yes, yes. Clearly, such elements have no place in fiction. What was I thinking? It’s amazing how these comments proliferate whenever my publisher holds one of their $1 sales. Possibly, people who exclusively buy .99¢ ebooks are simply more discerning than others.

Possibly, I am Ludwig of Bavaria.

But I don’t take it personally. No, really, I don’t. How could I? I’m in good company. Look around. Classics that once were hailed as works of genius are now routinely reviled. The literary landscape is no longer a fertile plain upon which talent flourishes… but a vast trash heap where writers scrabble for scraps. I’m sure the other 100,000+ authors on Goodreads have had similar experiences.

Don’t feel too bad. (Try to see it as a badge of honor.) The nice thing about the Internet is that it gives everyone a voice. The bad thing about the Internet is that it gives everyone a voice. Even the Old Masters have problems with trolls these days. Here’s a sampling of my favorite comments culled from Amazon and Goodreads. Marvel with me at the depth of insight.


The Odyssey by Homer THE ODYSSEY by Homer
Avoid this.

[I love the simplicity of that one.]


Hamlet by William Shakespeare HAMLET by William Shakespeare
Ridiculously dull.

[Probably due to the absence of zombies.]


Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra DON QUIXOTE by Miguel de Cervantes
Offensively stupid.

[I especially enjoy folks who seem to be striking back at classics they were forced to read in school.]


The Hunchback of Notre-Dame by Victor Hugo
THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME by Victor Hugo
Not at all like the Disney movie.

[In case you were wondering.]


Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens OLIVER TWIST by Charles Dickens
Encourages children to disrespectfulness!

[Fuck you.]


Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë JANE EYRE by Charlotte Bronte
Way too many words.

[Particularly onerous in a novel.]


Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
MADAME BOVARY by Gustave Flaubert
One of the very few novels that I have been unable to finish.

[I see this one everywhere, word for word.]


War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
WAR AND PEACE by Leo Tolstoy
I do not recommend it to anyone.




Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
ANNA KARENINA by Leo Tolstoy
I found it impossible to relate to any of the characters.




[I include two of Tolstoy’s novels because both reviews are so perfect in their combination of arrogance and ignorance. And don’t you love the assumption that a reader’s inability to “relate” is a failure on the author’s part? This one appears with depressing regularity, always regarding books that include characters who are black, queer, from other periods or cultures, or otherwise alien.]


The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
THE ADVENTURES OF HUCKLEBERRY FINN by Mark Twain
Whatever you do do not read this book. It is full of the N word.

[If they gave a Nobel Prize for cluelessness…]


Swann's Way (In Search of Lost Time, #1) by Marcel Proust
SWANN'S WAY by Marcel Proust
This guy really likes the sound of his own voice.

[I'm sort of getting that.]


The Magic Mountain by Thomas Mann
THE MAGIC MOUNTAIN by Thomas Mann
One of the most boringest books I have ever read.

[Anyone else have trouble believing that a person who uses the word “boringest” has read Thomas Mann?]


As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
AS I LAY DYING by William Faulkner
This is definately one of the worse books I have read.

[But I enjoyed the spelling.]


The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank
THE DIARY OF A YOUNG GIRL by Anne Frank
Very very very very very very very very very boring.

[Can you even imagine this person’s level of consciousness? I spotted another just as boggling: “All the elements for a good story are there, but whiny Frank just can’t pull it together.”]


1984 by George Orwell
1984 by George Orwell
DO NOT READ THIS BOOK. And please for the love of God don't read that "Brave New World" book. It is twice as worse.


[I adore misspelled, ungrammatical sentence fragments that warn about bad prose, e.g., "TO MANY ABVERBS!!!" And why are they always in caps? It's like being shouted at by morons.]


The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
THE CATCHER IN THE RYE by J. D. Salinger
Not sure why this is considered a literary masterpiece. Throughout the entire book, curse words were used. DON’T LET YOUR CHILDREN READ THIS!!! The publishers should take this book off the market.


[Note: this book should not exist – a recurrent motif. We should probably burn all the copies.]


William Golding, Lord of the flies Penguin Study Notes by Gillian E. Hanscombe
LORD OF THE FLIES by William Golding
I am obsessed with Survivor, so I thought it would be fun. WRONG!!!

[Awesome.]


To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD by Harper Lee
I found this book so dull and uninspiring that I couldn’t finish it.

[It obviously needs sparkly vampires.]


Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
SLAUGHTERHOUSE FIVE by Kurt Vonnegut
I have literally no idea what this book is about.

[Do tell.]


The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
THE GRAPES OF WRATH by John Steinbeck
Terrible!!!!! I have read lots of books and this is the worst one ever.

[Another that shows up verbatim in a million places. What must those “lots of books” be like?]


Beloved by Toni Morrison
BELOVED by Toni Morrison
1) Bad plot, bad writing.
2) DULL! DULL! DULL!!!!!!!
3) The content in this book is definitely R-rated or worse.
4) Highly regarded by the “highbrows.” I guess I am not in that class.


[You think? Sorry, but I couldn’t pick a winner here: they’re all so appalling. There must be fifty other reviews that complain about how “confusing” the book is… because if a person can’t read at an adult level, obviously the writer is at fault.]


Ulysses by James Joyce
ULYSSES by James Joyce
I honestly don't see how this book could ever get more than one star.

[Sigh.]


* * *

Real literary criticism – once an art form in its own right – celebrated erudition and interpretation. Does the current crop of crude remarks truly represent the contemporary reading public? They are to scholarship what Fox News is to journalism, achieving a level of near-mythic stupidity. No, I refuse to believe that these things exemplify the new normal. Perhaps they are the voice of some tiny but unduly verbal component – the sort of people who MUST trumpet their most boorish opinions. And invariably these attitudes are vigorously endorsed by others.

Or are they? Endorsed by others, I mean. The trolls and the sock puppets… couldn’t they all just be approving their own comments while pretending to be other people?

It remains something of a mystery. What is it they always say at the end of old horror movies?

“There are some things man is not meant to know.”
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Published on February 14, 2014 12:13 Tags: amazon, book-reviews, classics
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message 51: by Gerhard (last edited Aug 16, 2015 12:07PM) (new)

Gerhard Mmm. Robert, when you state that:

'So many fans of Horror despise everything else. And how many Romance readers ever deviate from their chosen genre? Science Fiction devotees? Mystery fans? This can grow even more specialized.'

Literature is such a vast, amorphous entity these days that the average reader, by default, has to be a specialist. There is nothing wrong with specialisation per se. In fact, it is necessary.

I think it is treading on shaky ground to impute that 'specialist' readers (i.e. Harry Potter, Star Wars or MM fans, for example) are necessarily ignorant due to such a 'narrowed' focus.

Of course, you do have a problem when someone thinks their specialism is the Voice of God and gives them the ordained right to trash everything else.

Even then, just ignore the fuckers. The big problem with trolls, sock puppets etc. is the anonymity of the Internet. As long as people are anonymous, they think they are not accountable to even a modicum of decency, manners, good taste or probity.

That is why I think all Internet platforms, from Twitter to Goodreads, should make it mandatory that people use their real identities. That will stop a lot of the inanity out there.


message 52: by Robert (new)

Robert Dunbar Gerhard wrote: "That is why I think all Internet platforms, from Twitter to Goodreads, should make it mandatory that people use their real identities. That will stop a lot of the inanity out there..."

A revolutionary concept.


message 53: by Gerhard (last edited Aug 16, 2015 12:42PM) (new)

Gerhard Robert wrote: "A revolutionary concept."

I don't think unalloyed cynicism is not going to help matters either.


message 54: by Marge (new)

Marge Simon Every time I read comments such as you've shared, I get depressed and an urge for a piece of chocolate and/or a glass of cabernet. Our "good" cabernet. Then perhaps a documentary about crab hunting in Yugoslavia.


message 55: by Robert (new)

Robert Dunbar Gerhard wrote: "Robert wrote: "A revolutionary concept."

I don't think unalloyed cynicism is not going to help matters either."


Sadly, even the most conservative anti-trolling initiatives have been met with a storm of protest here at Goodreads. (And so far the new management has backed down more often than not: the troll community can present a very united front at times.) Because the sort of people who invest huge amounts of energy in threatening, harassing and generally bullying writers (and other reviewers) feel a profound intellectual commitment to fighting censorship.

Inspirational, isn’t it?

Why it’s almost enough to make a person cynical…


message 56: by Shadowdenizen (last edited Aug 17, 2015 08:15AM) (new)

Shadowdenizen [quote]I think it is treading on shaky ground to impute that 'specialist' readers (i.e. Harry Potter, Star Wars or MM fans, for example) are necessarily ignorant due to such a 'narrowed' focus.[/quote]

I agree. WHile my main love has always been Fantasy/Horror/Weird fiction, I try to consistenly remind myself to branch out of that genre, and I've found (and had recommended to me) some stellar books that I might not have been aware of otherwise.

Personally, I love reading reviews of all kinds and all genres, but the vast majority of them don't necessarily inform my opinion to read or not read a book (or see a movie, or play a video-game..)

And a number of them I personally can't even take seriously.

But people are still entitled to their opinions, even if we disagree with them. That (as you mentioned) is the joy of the internet. And it's easier to disregard these so-called "Dumb Reviews" than it is to mock them publicly....


message 57: by Robert (new)

Robert Dunbar Not to mention safer.


message 58: by Gerhard (new)

Gerhard Robert wrote: "Because the sort of people who invest huge amounts of energy in threatening, harassing and generally bullying writers (and other reviewers) feel a profound intellectual commitment to fighting censorship."

That kind of inverse logic is painfully evident in the SF community and its Puppygate debacle. George R.R. Martin made a public appeal for all civic-minded and conscientious SF fans to register and vote for the Hugos in order to neutralise the Puppies. I think similar mass campaigns and concerted efforts have to be embarked upon against the 'troll community' (I shudder at the image) and that the management of Internet communities like Goodreads have to be made aware of pandering to the masses. Or letting a few ruin it for everybody.


message 59: by Marge (last edited Aug 17, 2015 12:13PM) (new)

Marge Simon "Or letting a few ruin it for everybody" --and that's how many it takes. Just a few, I've seen it time over in society and in associations. These people are loud, petulant, cunning, often rude, will never say they are sorry about anything, and I think they all should live on a little island off Antarctica. Yes, all of them. I need to add, with no communications of any sort with the rest of the world.


message 60: by Robert (new)

Robert Dunbar A lot of people missed the point of this blog. It’s not about mocking stupidity. It’s about lamenting the rise of troll culture and its pervasive impact on the level of public discourse; it’s about decrying the assumption of entitlement by the least thoughtful among us. Book reviews that attack Anne Frank for being “whiny” are just the tip of the iceberg.


message 61: by Robert (new)

Robert Dunbar And for those of us still looking for explanations:

"Anti-Intellectualism and the Dumbing Down of America"

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...


message 62: by Marge (new)

Marge Simon I'm stunned. I knew it, but was blind to this fact about kids being dumbed down in READING BOOKS. awhile ago my then "tween" granddaughter was very vocal about "I don't read, I don't like to read" -- I thought it was a "time of age" thing today (not in my day!!) but I see --more than I wanted to. Going to work on that. Thanks for the link that brought it all home to me.


message 63: by Tom (new)

Tom Mathews I was really saddened when reading an RIP thread that announced Harper Lee's passing and the only thing that two of the regular GR posters had to say was how boring and pointless TKaM was. I wonder if we even read the same book.


message 64: by Robert (last edited Feb 23, 2016 09:16AM) (new)

Robert Dunbar My favorite idiotic remark of late came from the "lickspittle minion" woman, who is truly a gift that keeps on giving. She found TKAM both "offensive and insulting." Gee, what kind of person could possibly be offended and insulted by a book with an anti-racism theme? Let me think about that... I'm sure the answer will come to me...


message 65: by Gerhard (new)

Gerhard Robert wrote: "And for those of us still looking for explanations:

"Anti-Intellectualism and the Dumbing Down of America"

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/......"


Robert, we have an interesting version of the same dilemma in South Africa, where the ruling (black) elite argue that European (white) culture and values are non-African. It's a complicated racism/colonialism dialectic that politicians love to enflame for their own agendas. For example, there was a protest last week at the University of Cape Town where students took priceless paintings from residences and used them to start a bonfire. And it never seems to change: I remember when I was a student at Rhodes University in Grahamstown in the 1990s, my salad days, and a bunch of us went on barricade duty at the library when protesters threatened to burn down the library in support of their grievances.


message 66: by Gerhard (new)

Gerhard Robert wrote: "My favorite idiotic remark of late came from the "lickspittle minion" women, who is truly a gift that keeps on giving. She found TKAM both "offensive and insulting." Gee, what kind of person could ..."

Okay, I am going to play devil's pimp here, but isn't it the nature of democracy to allow this person the freedom to articulate her viewpoint? (Note: not to impose it on anyone ... though that admittedly is a fine line if that person does not comprehend they are a minority and are being afforded the democratic right of popular opinion, at the behest of the ruling (enlightened) majority).


message 67: by Gerhard (new)

Gerhard Tom wrote: "I was really saddened when reading an RIP thread that announced Harper Lee's passing and the only thing that two of the regular GR posters had to say was how boring and pointless TKaM was. I wonder..."

Tom, I have always found 'revisionism' to be fascinating: how fads, opinions and tastes come and go. It always seems to be a good barometer of the zeitgeist. The backlash against Harper Lee seems to be a complex mishmash of all the conflicting racial issues bedeviling America at the moment, and also South Africa. Here Harper Lee is regarded with mistrust: how can a White Southern woman possibly purport to be an authority on injustice and marginalism?


message 68: by Tom (new)

Tom Mathews Robert wrote: "My favorite idiotic remark of late came from the "lickspittle minion" woman, who is truly a gift that keeps on giving. She found TKAM both "offensive and insulting." Gee, what kind of person could ..."

No one in this world, so far as I know ... has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. - H.L. Mencken



message 69: by Gerhard (new)

Gerhard Tom wrote: "No one in this world, so far as I know ... has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. - H.L. Mencken"

Yeah but it is those lickspittle masses who have the vote!


message 70: by Robert (last edited Feb 23, 2016 09:26AM) (new)

Robert Dunbar So did Barnum just go around misappropriating all of Mencken's remarks?


message 71: by Tom (new)

Tom Mathews Robert wrote: "So did Barnum just go around misappropriating all of Mencken's remarks."

I wouldn't put a little creative misappropriation past either of them. Which of them predated the other?


message 72: by Robert (new)

Robert Dunbar Gerhard wrote: "isn't it the nature of democracy to allow this person the freedom to articulate her viewpoint?..."

No. Shut up.


message 73: by Robert (last edited Feb 23, 2016 09:31AM) (new)

Robert Dunbar “There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there has always been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.'”

How I miss Asimov.


message 74: by Tom (new)

Tom Mathews Gerhard wrote: "Yeah but it is those lickspittle masses who have the vote! ."

Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule—and both commonly succeed, and are right. - H. L. Mencken


message 75: by Gerhard (new)

Gerhard Tom wrote: "Gerhard wrote: "Yeah but it is those lickspittle masses who have the vote! ."

Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule—a..."


H.L. Mencken for President!


message 76: by Gerhard (new)

Gerhard Robert wrote: "How I miss Asimov. "

Yes. Now there was a true man of letters.


message 77: by Marge (last edited Feb 23, 2016 11:00AM) (new)

Marge Simon Yes! To Asimov, and yes, re: Mencken.


message 78: by Gerhard (new)

Gerhard Gerhard wrote: "Robert wrote: "How I miss Asimov. "

Yes. Now there was a true man of letters."


Ooops ... I never knew this:

'The Men of Letters is a global secret organisation of scholars who research the supernatural. They undergo a period of teaching in areas of arcane knowledge and rituals and, if they pass, are initiated into the most secret knowledge.'


message 79: by Robert (new)

Robert Dunbar Gerhard wrote: "'The Men of Letters is a global secret organisation of scholars who research the supernatural. They undergo a period of teaching in areas of arcane knowledge and rituals and, if they pass, are initiated into the most secret knowledge.'

Never believe anything Tom tells you.


message 80: by Tom (new)

Tom Mathews Robert wrote: "Gerhard wrote: "'The Men of Letters is a global secret organisation of scholars who research the supernatural. They undergo a period of teaching in areas of arcane knowledge and rituals and, if the..."

I must have missed something. How did I get linked to this remark?


message 81: by Marge (last edited Feb 23, 2016 05:47PM) (new)

Marge Simon Tom -- you posted: Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule—and both commonly succeed, and are right. - H. L. Mencken

And that got the ball rolling .... but Rob always says not to believe anything you say. Even when you didn't say something.


message 82: by Michele (new)

Michele Gerhard wrote: "Okay, I am going to play devil's pimp here, but isn't it the nature of democracy to allow this person the freedom to articulate her viewpoint? "

Of course. And we are likewise free to interpret that viewpoint as signaling that she (or he, or whatever) is ignorant and racist.

If lickspittle minion woman is the same person who accused me recently over on Literary Darkness of having ilk, I got a private message from them filled with anti-Muslim rhetoric and a suggestion that I should support Donald Trump.

Erm, no.


message 83: by Michele (last edited Feb 23, 2016 06:03PM) (new)

Michele Tom wrote: "Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule—and both commonly succeed, and are right." - H. L. Mencken

Oh god. It's so sad, and so true. I am also reminded of Mark Twain's comment about how only half the country reads the newspapers, and only half the country votes. "One hope," he said, "that it is the same half."


message 84: by Michele (last edited Feb 23, 2016 06:05PM) (new)

Michele Robert wrote: "And for those of us still looking for explanations:

"Anti-Intellectualism and the Dumbing Down of America""


Fascinating. And now I am more depressed than I was before.


message 85: by Marge (new)

Marge Simon Michele wrote: "Gerhard wrote: "Okay, I am going to play devil's pimp here, but isn't it the nature of democracy to allow this person the freedom to articulate her viewpoint? "

Of course. And we are likewise free..."


OMG, Michele! That comment freaks me out, that message you got! Hard to believe such people are allowed on Good Reads --but then, how to ferret them out and block them? Guess there is no way.


message 86: by Marge (new)

Marge Simon I guess I should wake up, here. I tend to consider GR as a much safter place to comment on than FB. Anyway I have no prob's with FB because I mostly just share amusing or interesting items/videos/art, etc. Not politics or religion.


message 87: by Michele (last edited Feb 23, 2016 06:27PM) (new)

Michele Marge wrote: "Hard to believe such people are allowed on Good Reads --but then, how to ferret them out and block them?"

Well, as Gerhard said, freedom of speech. "I disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." Still, we are not obligated to give them a megaphone :)

Generally, though, I truly believe that, as Justice Brandeis said, "Publicity is justly commended as a remedy for social and industrial diseases. Sunlight is said to be the best of disinfectants." That is, people ought to be allowed to say things that are nasty, unpleasant, appalling, or just plain wrong, so that they can be openly challenged and rebutted. That way (a) it's easy to identify and avoid such folks, and (b) it's easier to offer a counter-influence, so that others aren't swayed by them.

"I guess I should wake up, here. I tend to consider GR as a much safter place to comment on than FB."

From my experience on GR, people like lickspittle minion are a very tiny minority. And when they do turn up, you can pretty much count on everyone else having your back :)


message 88: by Marge (new)

Marge Simon Michele wrote: "Marge wrote: "Hard to believe such people are allowed on Good Reads --but then, how to ferret them out and block them?"

Well, as Gerhard said, freedom of speech. "I disagree with what you say, but..."


And you say:

"From my experience on GR, people like lickspittle minion are a very tiny minority. And when they do turn up, you can pretty much count on everyone else having your back :) "

Amen to that, Michele! I love our discussions on Literary Darkness --plus a few other threads. I've learned so much about literature in a short time, compared to the other years of my life. And I value most highly the friends I've come to meet here.


message 89: by Gerhard (new)

Gerhard Marge wrote: "I love our discussions on Literary Darkness --plus a few other threads. I've learned so much about literature in a short time..."

So true, Marge. Robert cracks a very big whip. He should have auditioned for the role of Snape in the HP movies.


message 90: by Tom (new)

Tom Mathews Michele wrote: "From my experience on GR, people like lickspittle minion are a very tiny minority. And when they do turn up, you can pretty much count on everyone else having your back :) ."

What are friends for?


message 91: by Robert (new)

Robert Dunbar Michele wrote: "If lickspittle minion woman is the same person who accused me recently over on Literary Darkness of having ilk, I got a private message from them filled with anti-Muslim rhetoric and a suggestion that I should support Donald Trump."

Different person. But I'm hoping the "you and your ilk" person will take my advice and join the group with the "PC urinating" woman. In fact, I'm sending all our crazies there these days. (Sadly, they are NOT a small group.)


message 92: by Robert (new)

Robert Dunbar Michele wrote: "Oh god. It's so sad, and so true. I am also reminded of Mark Twain's comment about how only half the country reads the newspapers, and only half the country votes. "One hope," he said, "that it is the same half."

Something tells me those statistics have changed a bit.


message 93: by Tom (new)

Tom Mathews Robert wrote: "Michele wrote: "Oh god. It's so sad, and so true. I am also reminded of Mark Twain's comment about how only half the country reads the newspapers, and only half the country votes. "One hope," he sa..."

I wonder what Twain would have said about Fox News,


message 94: by Robert (new)

Robert Dunbar I don't think even the Murdoch papers count as reading.


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