It's That Time of Year again
It is indeed that time of year again.
For many, the Christmas and New Year festive period is such a challenge if one is single - but I’ve always been fortunate to have good friends and family that help make it joyous rather than difficult period. Similarly, for others, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day can be very sad and painful days where the loss of a loved one is perhaps most keenly felt.
But for yours truly, the day I have come to most dread over the past over the past 6 years has been St. Valentine’s Day. From mid to late January, it’s almost impossible to avoid the sea of red that seems to consume the planet. Supermarkets, every restaurant touting for business on the 14th, florists, coffee shops selling heart shaped chocolates and cakes – the list is seemingly endless. All reminding me that yes, I am categorically single.
To some couples, 14th February is not that important. It’s not that they’re not in a good relationship – just simply that they are not that romantically inclined. Either that or they reject the consumerism that increasingly seems to invade every aspect of our lives. But for my late wife and me, it was THE day of the year and in a storage box somewhere is every card we ever sent each over the 23 years we were together.
Rather like the old adage that a dog is for life and not just for Christmas, the same should hopefully apply to romance. For us, romance was for life and not only for Valentine’s Day. But that notwithstanding, it was simply wonderful to have one day of the year as a focal point for romance – overpriced flowers, humungous cards, ridiculously cute cuddly toys, frivolous foundation garments et al…and of course, badly written and clichéd poetry.
‘If snowflakes were love, I’d send a blizzard to you’ maybe clichéd and with decidedly limited aesthetics. But that’s not the point…when you’re in love those ten words or so bring a big smile to one’s face and the warmest of warm glows to the heart.
Personally, at the heart of romance is my unshakeable belief that the only thing that really matters in life is to love and be loved. This has been stated many times before, probably most notably in Eden Ahbez’s song Nature Boy immortalised by Nat King Cole and in Sebastian Faulks inspirational Birdsong. If anything, repetition only adds to rather than dilutes the fundamental truth of the comment.
Without doubt, it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all but where does that leave us social lepers that are the single person? As with most things in life, it is that wondrous thing that was the last to exit Pandora’s Box, hope. With that in mind, I have a short tale (and a true one at that) to recount that may bring a smile to people’s faces.
It is 1976 and a young man kisses a young woman. He, truth be told, is a smitten kitten but it’s an unrequited smitten-ness. A few months later, he stares across a river to where she lives and makes a wish just to see and talk to her one more time. Finally, he turns his back on the river and makes his way home. In time, he finds love, success, fulfilment and happiness – travelling the world and experiencing the best things that life can offer.
Fast forward to 2013 and the young man is now a widower, in what can be most optimistically called the Indian Summer of his life. He finally finishes his first book and on November 11 it is released to the world. To his great delight, the book has not insignificant commercial success and is indeed loved by many – and perhaps most notably, even though he tries to have the same affection for all fans of the book, by the young woman from 1976.
And on the day the book briefly makes it into the Amazon Top 40 best sellers, the woman now also in the Indian Summer of her life contacts him. What follows are magical mails full of magical words. Thanks to the book, the wish finally comes true 37 years after it was made. The man can finally again visit card shops in February rather than shuffling past them grumpily and best of all, he can once again enjoy the delights of a trip to a florist. “Bloody hell, a rose costs how much?” he says before smiling to himself joyously.
He walks into the street happy. He had almost forgotten just how good happy felt.
“It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone...but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.”
Magical words from Kahlil Gibran that seem somehow to capture the essence of the story perfectly - as also are the following words from the truly brilliant and sumptuous The Shawshank Redemption,
“Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!
The only thing that really matters in life is to love and be loved.
For many, the Christmas and New Year festive period is such a challenge if one is single - but I’ve always been fortunate to have good friends and family that help make it joyous rather than difficult period. Similarly, for others, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day can be very sad and painful days where the loss of a loved one is perhaps most keenly felt.
But for yours truly, the day I have come to most dread over the past over the past 6 years has been St. Valentine’s Day. From mid to late January, it’s almost impossible to avoid the sea of red that seems to consume the planet. Supermarkets, every restaurant touting for business on the 14th, florists, coffee shops selling heart shaped chocolates and cakes – the list is seemingly endless. All reminding me that yes, I am categorically single.
To some couples, 14th February is not that important. It’s not that they’re not in a good relationship – just simply that they are not that romantically inclined. Either that or they reject the consumerism that increasingly seems to invade every aspect of our lives. But for my late wife and me, it was THE day of the year and in a storage box somewhere is every card we ever sent each over the 23 years we were together.
Rather like the old adage that a dog is for life and not just for Christmas, the same should hopefully apply to romance. For us, romance was for life and not only for Valentine’s Day. But that notwithstanding, it was simply wonderful to have one day of the year as a focal point for romance – overpriced flowers, humungous cards, ridiculously cute cuddly toys, frivolous foundation garments et al…and of course, badly written and clichéd poetry.
‘If snowflakes were love, I’d send a blizzard to you’ maybe clichéd and with decidedly limited aesthetics. But that’s not the point…when you’re in love those ten words or so bring a big smile to one’s face and the warmest of warm glows to the heart.
Personally, at the heart of romance is my unshakeable belief that the only thing that really matters in life is to love and be loved. This has been stated many times before, probably most notably in Eden Ahbez’s song Nature Boy immortalised by Nat King Cole and in Sebastian Faulks inspirational Birdsong. If anything, repetition only adds to rather than dilutes the fundamental truth of the comment.
Without doubt, it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all but where does that leave us social lepers that are the single person? As with most things in life, it is that wondrous thing that was the last to exit Pandora’s Box, hope. With that in mind, I have a short tale (and a true one at that) to recount that may bring a smile to people’s faces.
It is 1976 and a young man kisses a young woman. He, truth be told, is a smitten kitten but it’s an unrequited smitten-ness. A few months later, he stares across a river to where she lives and makes a wish just to see and talk to her one more time. Finally, he turns his back on the river and makes his way home. In time, he finds love, success, fulfilment and happiness – travelling the world and experiencing the best things that life can offer.
Fast forward to 2013 and the young man is now a widower, in what can be most optimistically called the Indian Summer of his life. He finally finishes his first book and on November 11 it is released to the world. To his great delight, the book has not insignificant commercial success and is indeed loved by many – and perhaps most notably, even though he tries to have the same affection for all fans of the book, by the young woman from 1976.
And on the day the book briefly makes it into the Amazon Top 40 best sellers, the woman now also in the Indian Summer of her life contacts him. What follows are magical mails full of magical words. Thanks to the book, the wish finally comes true 37 years after it was made. The man can finally again visit card shops in February rather than shuffling past them grumpily and best of all, he can once again enjoy the delights of a trip to a florist. “Bloody hell, a rose costs how much?” he says before smiling to himself joyously.
He walks into the street happy. He had almost forgotten just how good happy felt.
“It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone...but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.”
Magical words from Kahlil Gibran that seem somehow to capture the essence of the story perfectly - as also are the following words from the truly brilliant and sumptuous The Shawshank Redemption,
“Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!
The only thing that really matters in life is to love and be loved.
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