Courage as an anti-bully

I was fourteen when I started to blog. The venture was just popular enough to merit a few fans…and a long list of critics.

Fast forward a few months, and I’d received vicious emails from both feminists and fundamentalists. I remember some of the emails left me depressed for days. I’d critique my writing relentlessly, with logic so undeniable that no one would argue. It never worked.

(I received a note shortly after my book’s publication, which said my author’s photo was too revealing, immodest, and I should be ashamed. The photo was a headshot. That one was almost too bizarre to believe.)

That said, I get anti-bullying campaigns. I really get them. Those experiences taught me that words can have a profound effect—even when they come from faceless strangers.

It is sick and wrong to physically and verbally tear down a child.

Abuse of children should never be tolerated.

But I wonder if the Anti-Bully Awareness Campaign-approach needs tweaking. Because tragically, bullying happens. While we can create a culture where bullying is taboo, we will never make it cease altogether.

Underdogs will be trod upon. In the schoolyard, there will be victims, even if the weapon is made of only words. There are always, always Goliaths.

We can teach kids to report this activity (and this is so important). We can tell them they’re not alone. But we must also teach them strength.

I read some quotes recently from Booker T. Washington that inspired me. He said, “I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed.”

He added, “Character, not circumstance, makes the person.”

I suspect that we tend to absorb hate into our souls. We accept the worst criticism of ourselves, allowing it to make a home under our skin.

We care far too much what others think.

And so, we become victims, rather than conquerors.

If I ever have a child who blogs, like I did, and receives hate mail, like I did, I wish them well. I won’t censor their emails to filter out the hurt. Instead, I want to be there with them. To teach them that there are some voices worth hearing. And then there are others who give us something to overcome.