David's Saga, a continuing series on work today: Episode 2: Layoff

David feigned confidence as he strode into the conference room. The others was there--16 people. "What a fucking waste--16 people in a meeting?!  With that many, everyone knows they're not important. Why doesn't she just send an email?"

Big Enchilada, in a meager sop to flattened hierarchy, sat in the middle instead of at the head of the still rectangular table.

David noticed that mostly they were strong employees and so was relieved. "Good, it's probably not a mass firing. But something's up. This doesn't feel like one of those dog-and-pony show, CYA meetings. People are sitting straighter."

He was right. Big Enchilada said, "Headquarters needs to reduce headcount again. We need to cut five more. I don't want to do it unilaterally (another meager sop) so let's brainstorm who. I need to stress that these are all good people, we'll give them a good reference and..."

David couldn't bear it: "Stop with the 'how great the corporation is and let's fucking get on with it."
The others weren't surprised at David's outburst. It was quintessential David and only he, resident rock star, could get away with it. A lesser light would long have been "laid off" as "not a team player," "lacking people skills," or some other euphemism for being too honest to fit into the typical workplace.

The hatchet squad put all the Possibles under the microscope. Some were spared rationally, others irrationally. "She's young blood. I'd hate to let her go." and "We can't afford to lose an African-American. We're 'underrepresented,' plus if we cut him, there's a chance he'll sue. We have less risk with a white."  David was tempted to say "White privilege, my ass." But in today's environment, he knew that, even for him, that was risky.

In less than an hour, the goners had been picked. David found some solace in, "The good ones will get snapped up elsewhere. The others will get a zillion weeks of paid vacation on unemployment."  But then he realized that he, the taxpayer, is paying for that long vacation. His blood pressure went up again---He knew someone who, every time they extended unemployment said, "Good, now I don't have to look for a job for another few months. Or at least I can hold out for a cushy gig." Working people paying to discourage the unemployed from looking for work or accepting only cushy work?  That's fucked up."

David trudged--at that moment, a trudge could be forgiven--back to his cube but couldn't make himself focus: "Who gives a fuck what variable would explain more variance in 12-16-year old's Facebook-linked tee shirt purchases." But reminded that if he stopped being so productive, he too could be axed, he forced himself to stare at the file...until Mike, one of those on death row, trudged, yes trudged, into his cube.

HERE is the link to Episode 3.