The Other Side of the Mike

I’ve got a smattering of talent in several areas, or at least I like to pretend that I do.  I write; I sketch; I play guitar; I mess around a bit with animation, and my forays into the culinary arts occasionally result in something that resembles food.  I don’t let any of these meager proficiencies go to my head, because I know that my limitations equal (or exceed) my abilities.  For instance… I stink at basketball; I can’t keep a houseplant alive for more than about three hours, and I dance like a wildebeest with a dislocated pelvis.  (I’m not kidding.  Don’t make the mistake of dancing with me unless you heal quickly, and your medical coverage doesn’t have a clause that limits catastrophic injuries.)

I’ve recently discovered another of my limitations.  I have exactly zero talent as a voice artist.  I know this for two reasons…

First, I spent an afternoon in a sound studio a few weeks ago, recording the Author’s Notes for the audiobook edition of The Seventh Angel.  And second, I’ve had the pleasure of working with a real voice artist, so I know what actual vocal talent looks like.  Or rather, what it sounds like.

Craig Good at the mike.  (Photo courtesy of Catalina Good.)

If you’re signed up for my email list, you already know that we managed to hook Craig Good of Lucasfilm and Pixar fame as the voice artist for The Seventh Angel.  Craig is every bit as talented behind the microphone as I am not.  Known for his work on movies like Toy Story, Finding Nemo, Cars, and Monsters, Inc., Craig didn’t just narrate the book.  He brought the crew of my fictional USS Towers to life.  His performance was everything I hoped it would be, and more.

I listened to Craig’s recording tracks at least six times while the book was in pre-production, and now that it’s available for sale, I’m getting ready to download it from Audible.com so I can listen to it again.

Script and Control Board.  (Photo courtesy of Catalina Good.)

Somewhere in the process, Craig talked me into recording the Author’s Notes myself.  That sounded like a cool idea to me.  Sort of like making a cameo appearance in my one of my own books.  So he arranged some studio time for me, and presto!  I was a star!  Or…  Maybe not so much…

The Sound Engineer doing his magic.  (Photo courtesy of Catalina Good.)

Turns out that professional voice work is damned hard.  And it also turns out that I have precisely no talent whatsoever in that particular arena.  After many (as in countless) mumbles, false starts, and outright flubs on my part, the engineer eventually managed to piece together something vaguely intelligible from my lackluster performance.  But it was very clear that I had no business behind the mike.

Craig where he belongs.  (Photo courtesy of Catalina Good.)

The good news is, my so-called performance is only a couple of minutes long, and you can ignore it entirely without missing a single word of the actual story.  But you’re not going to want to miss one second of Craig’s performance.  It’ll knock you out of your freaking socks.  (A bit like my dancing, but without the broken bones and contusions.)

The Seventh Angel audiobook is available now on Audible, and coming soon to Amazon and iTunes.