Memories Of Molestation, Ctd

Another reader shares his story:

I just wanted to offer my two cents on one particular aspect of the Woody Allen case. Many of his defenders point to the allegations that Mia Farrow “coached” Dylan before she spoke to the police. The edits in Dylan’s video testimony certainly suggest that Mia was at least talking to her and shaping her testimony, which could lend credence to the claim that the molestation was “invented” by Mia. But my experience as a victim of sexual abuse could suggest a different motivation.

My old sister and I were sexually abused by my father when we were very young. Our parents separated when I was two weeks old, and on weekend visits with my father, he would do many inappropriate things, similar to the actions that Allen has been accused of.

Inappropriate touching, yes. Penetration, no. The custody battle went on for years, and, of course, these allegations of abuse were a major factor in it. And yes, my mother coached me and my sister. She discussed what wording I would use when testifying before a judge. But she didn’t do this because the allegations were her invention. She coached me because she had already run into many sexist judges who were liable to take my father’s side in the matter. She coached us for the same reason every lawyer coaches their client before taking the stand: to make sure they communicate what they want to and to ensure that their words are not misinterpreted.

I’m not convinced of Woody Allen’s guilt, and I also understand the institutional hatred that a mother can instill in her children towards her ex-husband. And I’m sure that “invented abuse” and “implanted memories” are real things. But the coaching of a nervous, vulnerable child before they testify in a case that they really don’t understand is not evidence of either.

Previous readers on molestation here.