Guest Blog:

I’m delighted to devote this Guest Blog to a post from our member, Stephen B Pearl, who discusses the concept of fear and how it affects the writer

FEAR: GOOD BAD AND IN SUBMISSIONS

Fear is a barrier to accomplishment; it holds us down, but fear of what. Some people say fear is an illusion; of course those are the same people that step into the street without looking both ways and end up a red smear on the pavement. Fear is a necessary part of life; it warns us of potential danger and encourages us to steer clear of it. It has to have survival value or it would have evolved out of the creatures of this earth by now.

 So what exactly is fear? Biologically, adrenalin pumps we may feel cold in our chest or hot all over. Heart rate and blood pressure increase, the pupils dilate and our bodies prepare to fight or run.

Psychologically it’s harder to define. When you take fear out of the context of immediate survival you open up a whole other kettle of fish.

Personally I think fear is an indistinct term covering a broad range of potential responses.

There is the enjoyable fear we feel on a roller coaster. A rush we as a species actively seek out. A fear that tricks our more primitive aspects into terror while our mind sits back and enjoys the surge of adrenalin and the high because we aren’t in any real danger. As a paranormal and adventure writer I work with this kind of fear. This fear is cathartic; it gives a needed rush and also lets us safely explore aspects of other fears that may affect us.

Of course there is the fear of mortal danger. The fear we feel when the vicious dog lunges at us or our car skids out of control on the highway. This is a reasonable fear. I would go so far as to call it a good fear because it protects us. It makes us stand away from danger, watch the road. Without this fear we do stupid things that can get us killed. Having worked in a pool environment I can tell you a bit more of this type of fear might be in order for a lot of folk. Diving in the shallow end is a very good way to end up a talking head.

Then there is the fear of the mind. We imagine the worse. We contemplate the disaster to come. What will I do if my wife is in a bad mood? Is she going to leave me? Will my boss fire me when I tell him that there is no way the project can be completed on time. It’s a disaster and I’ll loose everything. Will I get yelled at and pushed to feel bad about myself. Will my suffering be increased for what ever reason? Will I be denied the things I crave? Will I lose things I put stock in? Will my life be worse than it is?

This last kind of fear is insidious. Yes the bad things could happen but following from them what is the worst case scenario? You end up on the street and get mugged for pocket change. Okay, that is pretty bad. Now, how likely is it to happen? How many escape routes are there between where you are and that outcome?

This kind of fear isn’t all bad. Like most fear a measure of it protects us. It is when it becomes unreasoning that is becomes dysfunctional. You see that your spouse has had a hard day, so fear of their reaction causes you to keep your distance and give them their space until they come to you. Many would call that wisdom. If that fear grows into thinking that they are going to abandon you for the paperboy because they don’t want to talk right away then it has become dysfunctional.

The dysfunctional level of this stops you from taking reasonable action and or spurns you on to doing ludicrous things.

This last mentioned fear is the fear that keeps the writer from submitting their work. The fear of “what if they don’t like it?” This is a fear I fight with. Rejection is never easy. Epically if you’ve had certain types of upbringings, but the surest way to fail is not to try.

I’ve read posts by some people that were critical of people that have a hard time dealing with the rejections that are inevitable in the writing industry. To these people I say I’m glad you’ve had someone who made you believe in yourself somewhere along the road, not everyone is so lucky.

So let’s talk about dealing with this fear, not as a judgement but in a practical sense. Let’s look at it for the paper tiger it is.

First, realise that the editor isn’t your parent, teacher, friend, spouse or any of these emotionally charged roles. They are an overworked, possibly underpaid, person who has a stack of stories on their desk that is threatening to crush them. In short, it isn’t their job to validate you or invalidate you. Their job is to pick a story that suits their publication that they think will make them money. That’s it. They see your story and judge your story. They often make mistakes and if they actually knew you they might really like you. Or not, but either way they don’t know you. All they know are the words on a page in front of them. A page like the millions they have seen before and will see later. Knowing this, don’t give them emotional power. They don’t intend to hurt you they just want to clear their desk. Do the best work you can, format it correctly for your market (This is a reasonable functional level of fear response to rejection because it does something practical to avoid it) then send it out with an attitude that it just doesn’t matter.

The proviso on ‘it just doesn’t matter,’ is if the editor is nice enough to give you feed back. A rejection with feed back is saying “nice try”. The editor might think it’s a fine little story, but just not right for his publication. Or maybe they run one dark story and one light story in each magazine, and they’re full up on dark for the next two years. In short, accept the good in the rejection and discount the rest as “it just doesn’t matter” which when you’re trying to make a buck can be hard to do but the important thing is to not let it hit your self-esteem.

Doing this makes it easer to take. Reason helps keep fear in check. Also using your imagination. Editors have a life outside your story. If it helps deaden the sting think about this.

The editor that saw your piece may well have been stuck in traffic for an hour reaching their office, or just dealt with a backed up toilet, had a fight with their spouse. Gone through any number of the everyday things “humans” go through that can predispose us to be more critical than we otherwise would be.

Remember, editors are human with the same issues as you and me. So do you really want to let a human who you have never even met make you feel so bad that you don’t submit your work? If you received a letter telling you that you were a bad person because you didn’t make a donation to a charity would you let it affect you? It’s the same thing. The rejection letter is there for any number of reasons, and it’s just a letter written by a person. Take the story and send it to the next name on your list or read it over see your mistakes correct them then send it out again.

So dealing with the fear of manuscript submission. Let’s look at the options. Leave your story sitting on the hard drive and never show it to anyone. You’ll never be criticized or rejected. Is that enough for you? Was writing it benefit enough in its own right? For most of us I think not. Sharing the work brings it to life. We want validation and the only way to get it is to risk criticism.

Agonise over every rejection pull yourself down into depression then resubmit. Trust me I know this one all too well. The thing is look at the power you’re giving the editor who doesn’t even really know that you exist. If the rejection spawns a real analysis of your writing that leads to improvements that isn’t all bad, but what I’ve learned (the hard way) and still struggle with is that depression isn’t necessary for this process.

This last point is important because what do we fear with rejection. We fear it will make us feel bad, we fear not getting the pittance most markets pay as well as not building a career, but those are long term and a single rejection is a drop in the bucket towards them. No, we fear being made to feel bad. The thing we have to ask ourselves is who is making us feel bad. Look in the mirror. Yup it’s that nasty piece of work staring back at you. Programmed years ago by parents, teachers, and life in general to whip you for each perceived failure. I think we all should stop listening to that idiot’s trash talk and maybe give them the hug they so obviously need because they must be wounded to treat others the way they treat you.

I’ll finish off with an aside that relates to fear. Fear as an excuse. This is a true story.

A couple of years ago I was doing a book signing in the city I grew up in, and I met an old friend I hadn’t seen in nearly thirty years. We chatted and it turns out her son is an aspiring writer. Because of our old association I offered to have a look at his work, give him some feed back and possibly introduce him to some people I’ve met in my own efforts.

He sent me an e-mail where he, admittedly politely, said he’d let me have a look at some excepts of his work, but that he was afraid of someone steeling his ideas. I dropped it like a hot potato. An old friend of your mother’s who’s a step or two up in the industry offers to help you and you effectively say you think he’s a thief, no. I have enough ideas floating around in my head to keep my fingers clicking keys for the next three hundred years. But this is a convenient fear for my friend’s son. If he never seeks feedback he never has to face someone telling him his writing is less than perfect. If he doesn’t cultivate industry contacts rejections, if he sends out at all, remain nebulous and without cause. The use of the “steal my idea” fear is very convenient. If this is one of yours I hate to burst your bubble, but there are no new ideas. Everything is how you blend together things that have already been done and add your own twist.

Well folks, what started out as a quick one page blog has turned into a ramble. I hope it may help some folk who are walking a road similar to mine with a distillate of hard learned lessons.

I also hope you’ll consider buying my books of course. Eh, honesty is the best policy.

In any case, May the roads you walk be smooth and level, the breeze sweet upon your skin, may your companions be true and merry and there be joy at journey’s end.

I hope you enjoyed reading this great post from Stephen and can relate it to feelings you have experienced.

 

 

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