Retroactive Spankings Required

I find it VERY hard to post these retro posts with no commentary. Sometimes—say, NOW—I want apologize for my silly self that was, and SWEAR the 10 years later improved version of me is WISER and less of a DORK. It’s probably not true, though.

Look, here is the first real entry to FTK, from March, 2004:

I have converted to the south beach diet in an evangelical wild-eyed rabid fanatical way. I seriously want to print reams of poorly drawn tracts filled with bad grammar and threats of hell aimed...