What To Use To Printer Abuse!

I always say smash a printer each year. But what to use never gets said by my little rhyming rear. I guess I should rectify that as I have been such a neglectful cat.

Enjoy your winter,
Smash a printer.
Get your exercise,
Hope no one dies.

Grab a bat,
Squash it flat.
Look at that swing,
You could be the next big thing.

Pick up an ax.
Don't pay tax.
Chop the thing to bits,
For being the pits.

A sledge hammer,
Will make things clamor.
With each swing,
You'll hear a ding.

A blow torch,
Could maybe scorch.
But it would need to be hot,
To melt it on the spot.

Could use your feet.
That may be sweet.
Getting all touchy feely at your zoo.
Unless it backfires and a leg breaks off of you.

Get your car,
No need to go far.
You'll save gas,
Making it a flat mass.

For those who are paranoid,
Strap it to an asteroid.
Then no data can be found,
Unless it lands on alien ground.

A chainsaw would be grand.
Chop it as you stand.
Watch your eyes though,
And things down below.

So there you are,
Helped out near and far.
Some simple ways,
To make sure every printer pays!

Smash away, all through the day. Take videos too at your zoo. We all want to see you smash with glee. I guarantee you will enjoy your winter and will not get a splinter.  You can also yell things that are crass as you smash it thanks to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.