Play Your Heart Out

Yesterday I went to my daughter’s “solo and ensemble” recital at the local junior high school.It was one of the most inspirational moments of my week. I literally found myself tearing up as these teens played their hearts out. Even the ones who were terrible I felt great inspiration from. Let me explain a little bit about why I think that happened, and what the situation was:

There were 10 teens involved, and each had practiced a single piece for a significant length of time. Their teacher was there, but two impartial judges had also come to grade each student. They had to have either an accompanist or a fellow student to play with, to prove they could play in sync, on rhythm, and in key. I was my daughter’s accompanist and I am no musician by any stretch. I took several years of piano lessons as an adult, but I only play occasionally now, and I had to practice a lot to manage this, and had the help of my daughter’s private teacher.

Every student there was afraid. Some had shaking hands. Some could hardly speak above a mumble. Three lost their places in the music (two of them with music in front of them) and had to start over, leaving their accompanist to fumble along with them. Two were so horribly off key that the resonance in the room hurt my ears. And all of them were beautiful examples of persistence and doing what doesn’t come easily. I suspect they all knew they had made mistakes, and yet they kept going.

I have long been a proponent of finding hobbies you are bad at. Seriously, I think this is a great test of character. It is so easy to get good at one thing and just keep doing that one thing. We call this a job. And most of us tend to have hobbies that don’t require a lot of effort, and certainly not much humiliation. Humiliation is what you don’t have to go through when you’re an adult, right? You’re over that. You tell stories about being an idiot when you were a teen.

Well, I don’t think that’s the way it should be. Adults have a lot to learn from teens. One of the reasons I write for teens is that I aspire to be like that again. In accompanying my daughter, I wasn’t quite putting myself on the line to be judged, but there was certainly the risk of embarrassing myself in front of other parents, the teacher, and the judges. Last year, the judges did comment on my daughter’s score sheet that her accompanist hadn’t helped her case. Ouch! That stung!

So why did I go back this year? Well, I might have preferred not to, but when my daughter asked me, I threw myself into it—perhaps a little reluctantly. The more we practiced together, the more I was determined to get better. And when I played in front of an audience, I was further spurred to more practice. There is something really satisfying about doing something passably that you know you had to work hard for. In stretching yourself even if it doesn’t really matter to you in the long run.

Other writers, musicians, film makers, artists of all kinds, and even people who aren’t artists, could learn to do this a little more. I’m not saying not to worry about embarrassing yourself. I know you’re going to worry about that, and it’s a good thing. It makes you work just a little bit harder if you know you’re doing a race in three months and you want to lose a little weight before you show up in those tight running pants and top.

But play your heart out! Run your heart out! Write your heart out! Film and create your heart out!

Think of that teen who was playing so off key that the room shook with it, and yet who kept her focus on her instrument and her sheet music. She had to do it, even if she wasn’t good at it. She did her absolute best under the circumstances. And she’s my hero, who I aspire to be on my best days. I want to do what I do badly with that much attention, focus, and determination. If I can do that with anything, how much better will I be at my writing?