Everything I've learned about book marketing

There's a PR mishap I often remember.

Subway sandwiches were once sued, or called out, or embarrassed on twitter for not being 12 inches long as advertised. Naturally, a man noticed that the subs were actually only 11 inches long.

I never would have known I was paying for an invisible inch. I grew up in a country where the system was metric but the culture was imperial. As a result, I generally take his word for it when it comes to size without breaking out a ruler.

We get so used to lies, they just become background noise we filter out. Politicians, advertisers, students, they all depend on us not really hearing the words to "no new taxes," "troops out of Afghanistan," "completely flushable," and "8 solid inches."

And, to that background noise you can add the words "best seller." You've probably seen it in a million tweets and it really means nothing.

The fact is that it is, and always had been, difficult for writers to get their work noticed and even more difficult for them to sell it. There is a myth that, in the old days, newspaper reviews, literary supplements and television interviews used to sell books. They didn't. Mostly, authors went on press tours and did readings and travelled and travelled and sold three copies of their books at each stop. Most books didn't, and don't, make money. I've heard it said that there are really only 5 people in Canada who are making a living as authors. 5 out of 31 millions.

Why do people think it looks easy? What is driving all of us to send out desperate tweet after desperate tweet that are, let's face it, just annoying?

Part of it is, as media savvy as all of us should be, we really don't understand the mechanisms at play. You might have 2000 twitter followers and 482 friends on Facebook, but they are not a target market. They are people. And, of those people, only about 150 of them are invested in you, your life and your success at whatever you do. Those 150 also include your muse, your inspiration, your guides, your nurturers and your group therapy members. All of them will expect to get your book for free.

This is where some consultants will try to get your money by asking this question: how do you convert followers and friends into customers? The short answer is that you can't. The thoughtful answer is that you don't.

When I look at the first ten followers on my twitter feed, four describe themselves as authors or writers, two are accounts from companies hoping to sell services to authors or writers and one is related to music and two are related to other areas of reading and academic life I maintain an interest in. Only one is an actual person out looking to connect with others, talk about sports and beer and other fun stuff. He's not also not among the target readership for my book.

Before authors self-publish, they generally submit their works to more traditional publishers and agents with a little outline of marketing opportunities and audience development. Telling them that you have 20,000 twitter followers and hundreds of people re-pinning your book cover on Pinterest is not going to impress them. Social media marketing gets a lot of press these days, but just because all of the networking sites have been called marketing platforms, doesn't make sending out tweets or status updates or cute photographs or even viral videos marketing. Although, I would love it if your cat read my book on Kindle or Kobo or on your phone the way she plays with those apps for iPad and you sent me a video of it to share around.

Writing this blog about book marketing isn't about marketing either. Have you, in the last three hundred words, even thought about buying my book? It's called Love From Planet Wine Cooler by the way. No? Fine. I may have started this blog as a marketing tool, along with about 100,000 other writers, but I went into it knowing it wouldn't actually sell books.

As you know, I've been conducting experiments in book marketing. I've done some traditional advertising here on Goodreads and tried giveaways. I've compared different efforts and written about them. The one effort that I made and enjoyed immensely was the public reading.

Still, if I were going to base my self-respect as a writer on how my book has been selling, I would be a mess. Except, I'm not. I'm not a best-seller, but I continue to get published in magazines and anthologies and journals. I win the occasional award and use the money to buy my kids treats and milk and winter coats. And, sometimes, I read a piece one of my students has written and get excited about discovering new talent. The word endures and, really, when I see someone describe themselves as a "best-selling author" every five minutes or so, I have no urge to call them out on exactly what that phrase means. We are all into creative writing after all.