"This is not a poem. This is not an alibi, and this is not something for you to hang over my head...."

“

This is not a poem. This is not an alibi, and this is not something for you to hang over my head. This is how I feel. These are my words spread out on a surface where you can’t always take back what you didn’t mean to say when tensions were high.

I wish you would understand that love doesn’t just disappear. It slowly fades away as the sound of giving up makes its way through the hallways of attempted forgiveness. You shouldn’t always assume that you are the center of my meaning. You only hear what you want so you are able to think that there is something that proves your point when it comes to having a reason for you to just walk away.

I should probably just tell you how I feel instead of watching you circle around the answer; oblivious to harshness of your actions. You should know me by now, and you should know that I am only as strong as my heart is. And to tell you the truth, it’s a part of me that hasn’t been holding its own weight lately. I hide things from you because I am afraid that one day you are going to use my fears as leverage.

To tell you the truth, you were the only person who has ever been able to make me question my purpose, and sometimes, even if you don’t want to admit it, you use that in your advantage; turning my desires into dreams, and showing me that the future is as far away from me as my past.

But when I held you in my arms for those short moments before you had to leave my bed and return to the one that you made for yourself, I couldn’t help but to feel as if there was more than just comfort that you were seeking. But the feeling of absolute safety; a safety that wouldn’t be found in someone as vulnerable as myself.

”

- "You don’t have to be sorry, but you should be more cautious," - Colleen Brown