My Life as a Zookeeper

Mothering teens is like being a zookeeper where the animals think they are smarter. Also, these animals won’t eat vegetables. In fact if you dangle a piece of broccoli in front of them, they shrink back, like vampires in front of a crucifix. I think one of them even hissed.

Being a woman with teens, who waited until her 30’s for motherhood is a cruel trick of nature. You have the maturity and patience to deal with these creatures but every day is a tiny hit on your ego. Just when your daughters are coming into the full bloom of their beauty, with skin like rose pedals, your skin is folding like a shar pei. When you see new wrinkles, your daughters see them too. But unlike you, your daughters will casually talk about them in general conversation as if you’ve purchased a particularly un-flattering pair of jeans. But rather than let them know that the new topography of your skin bothers you, you decide to play if off like wrinkles are the new black - everyone looks good in them.

The best attitude, I’ve found about aging is to think of the alternative. Death. Death has no second act and while the happily ever after aspect of death is something many people debate, I’m not quite ready for it.

I’d like to live long enough to see my daughters get a few wrinkles. Then I can die happy.

For more funny blog posts please visit:
http://ellynoaksmith.tumblr.com/