Snow and the South
Yes, an inch of snow is enough to send the whole region screeching to a halt, which is pretty funny until you’re living in it. Because, yes, it’s just an inch. But the difference between no snow and an inch of snow in an area that isn’t used to it is a hell of a lot bigger than the difference between nine inches and ten in an area that is. An inch of snow on the ground in an area that doesn’t have a whole hell of a lot of snow removal equipment (because how often does it get used) means that the inch of snow is going to be sitting there a while in some parts of the region, which means it’s going to get crunched into a half inch of ice. And let’s not forget the folks who didn’t grow up driving with snow, who don’t have an instinctive feel for it, trying to get home or get their kids at school or whatever in that.
Now, I freely confess there is absolutely no excuse for the grocery store panic that grips the region every time the word “snow” gets uttered. Why the possibility of accumulation makes everyone pelt to the nearest Food Lion to grab all the milk, bread, eggs, batteries and condoms they can is beyond me - it’s not like the snow generally sticks around long enough for the milk to even think about going yogurt. And the folks who stubbornly insist that since they have SUVs, they don’t need to learn the difference between black ice and dry road, well, you need to get your heads out of your asses, toot suite, because the rest of us don’t appreciate getting held up by a blocked intersection after you pirouette through a stop light and into a four-car pileup. That stuff, frankly, deserves to get made fun of, or would if it weren’t so bloody dangerous.
But yeah, it all boils down to an inch of snow is a rare and exotic thing down here, and it gets handled as well as a rare and exotic thing - like, say, a hurricane slamming the Jersey shore - gets handled anywhere else. So if we could all dial back on the reflexive contempt for stuff that seems goofy only outside of context, we all might be a little happier.
And a little warmer, too.
