OKay... if the video thing doesn't work...

I'll entertain you with the story of Ma and Pa Kettle go clubbing.

Okay-- I've made it abundantly clear that I am large. Not healthy large. Mama-is-a-Volkswagen large. And while I'm always on a quest to NOT be a Volkswagen, and have developed some habits that I hope may reduce me to, say, the size of a Mini-Cooper, I am not necessarily all excited about putting on my hot baby clothes and going clubbing.

But Mate took me anyway.

Mate's friends--who, aside from being AWESOME, are also YOUNG a...