My Epic Journey to the Dump
Today I undertook the most romantic gesture I have ever made besides the time I squeezed my pregnant self into a stretchy dress and made a fancy dinner. I thought I looked great. In fact I looked like a snake digesting a rat.
This was better.
I cleaned the garage for my husband’s birthday.
About 10 minutes into it, I was wrestling with a rusted and crusted paint can lid and ready to be done. At the rate I was going I would be able to clean out ten paint cans. And I am a painter of walls. All the time. Last Christmas I painted our main floor a soft buttery yellow in between Christmas parties.
The plan was to mix the old paint with kitty litter thus solidifying it and following the rules for throwing away paint. I didn’t make it up the kitty litter thing. It’s real. As a weird side note, I asked the woman at the pet store if I could return the $80 of cat food I’d bought at their summer sale since our cat had just died. Then I asked where the kitty litter was. Without explaining.
Half way into this project I decided that all the camping stuff should be solidified onto the top shelf in the garage. I dragged the tall aluminum ladder to the shelves and grabbed the huge, heavy long bag that contains something for camping. Not sure what it is. Feels like a dead body. Anyway, I am dragging this thing up when I realize that I don’t have the strength to drag the thing up sideways in order to place it on the shelf. I am on the ladder, unwilling to back down, holding this probable cadaver when I decide, if I throw my stomach under it and twist, I can lever it up.
Yeah, you’re right. It was a bad idea. I nearly fell off the ladder. And the worst part was that there was no one there to say “Oh my God! I almost fell off the ladder!” But somehow and I don’t really know how, it worked. So now when we go camping, it’s going to involve a ladder.
Read the rest on:
http://ellynoaksmith.tumblr.com/post/...
This was better.
I cleaned the garage for my husband’s birthday.
About 10 minutes into it, I was wrestling with a rusted and crusted paint can lid and ready to be done. At the rate I was going I would be able to clean out ten paint cans. And I am a painter of walls. All the time. Last Christmas I painted our main floor a soft buttery yellow in between Christmas parties.
The plan was to mix the old paint with kitty litter thus solidifying it and following the rules for throwing away paint. I didn’t make it up the kitty litter thing. It’s real. As a weird side note, I asked the woman at the pet store if I could return the $80 of cat food I’d bought at their summer sale since our cat had just died. Then I asked where the kitty litter was. Without explaining.
Half way into this project I decided that all the camping stuff should be solidified onto the top shelf in the garage. I dragged the tall aluminum ladder to the shelves and grabbed the huge, heavy long bag that contains something for camping. Not sure what it is. Feels like a dead body. Anyway, I am dragging this thing up when I realize that I don’t have the strength to drag the thing up sideways in order to place it on the shelf. I am on the ladder, unwilling to back down, holding this probable cadaver when I decide, if I throw my stomach under it and twist, I can lever it up.
Yeah, you’re right. It was a bad idea. I nearly fell off the ladder. And the worst part was that there was no one there to say “Oh my God! I almost fell off the ladder!” But somehow and I don’t really know how, it worked. So now when we go camping, it’s going to involve a ladder.
Read the rest on:
http://ellynoaksmith.tumblr.com/post/...
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