Monday Musings: Owned by a Dachshund

As you see by the title of this blog, I am currently owned by a dachshund. Actually, my entire family is owned by the dachshund. He has decided to write today's post, so...here we go!


My humans are are many things to me. Cuddle partners. Bringers of food. Holders of the leash as I walk them. Horrible pullers of the leash when I am interested in a sniff across the street and they're going, "CAR!" Whatever that is.

Their schedule revolves around me, which is as it should be. I am older distinguished, and will be turning 14 next month. I insist on a proper brushing to keep my coat nice and shiny. I look like a dog half my age! Seriously, people comment on how young I look in such an admiring fashion that I may, MAY, allow them to pet me.

I likes to sit next to my humans whenever possible. They prop me up and provide cuddling services. Also, I do not sleep, I rest my eyes. I do NOT snore, despite what my owners may claim, I just have loud breathing.

I expects my meals on time, and I shall greet each one by leaping from the chair I graciously share and racing to the bowl. My server may then leave me to eat in peace.

I enjoy long walks through the neighborhood, and do my part to keep my humans in better shape, leading them on non-linear, wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey walks. I really do take good care of them.

Finally, at night, they vacate my bed for good and give me a nicely folded cover to burrow into. My humans are good, and I give them the pleasure of my presence, the structure of my schedule, every day. I must be the best owner ever to exist!

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*ahem* So, there you have it. A day in the life of a dachshund who owns humans.

Are any of you guys owned by your pets? What sorts of things do they have you do? We must band together!