When to Listen to Your Readers... And When to Ignore Them

The “Now What?” Months are here! In 2014, we’ll be bringing you advice from authors who published their NaNo-novels, editors, agents, and more to help you polish November’s first draft until it gleams. Author Laurel Snyder  shares how to best hear criticism from your first-readers :

Once a little girl asked me this question: “How do you figure out when to listen to other people, and when to listen to yourself?”

I think this was perhaps the wisest thing anyone has ever asked me, and I was utterly stumped. But it’s something we all need to think about, and be prepared for, as we revisit our NaNoWriMo manuscripts, isn’t it? Because whether you’re turning to an online critique group, a teacher, or an old friend, your next step will probably involve getting someone else to read what you’ve written. Someone who can help you figure out what that pile of words is going to become.

The impulse to send your book out into the world can be strong. You’ve worked hard, and you want someone to appreciate that fact, and see a diamond in the rough. Probably you harbor vague dreams that someone might actually say, “I don’t know how you did it, but it’s perfect just as it is. Don’t change a word!”

The thing is that whatever they’re going to say, you won’t be ready to hear it, or to gauge your own reaction to it, if you haven’t gotten some distance first. Wait until you can’t quite remember the book, and then send it off. To a trusted reader who will be honest, but kind.

Then try to find a very calm, confident place inside yourself, before you listen to whatever your reader is going to say. Because it can be hard to hear an honest critique, and even harder to figure out what to do with it.

Going back to the little girl with the brilliant question—you are going to need to decide when to listen, and when to ignore. In my experience, that has less to do with whether you think your reader is right or wrong, and more to do with how you respond emotionally to the very subjective opinion they offer.

There is no right or wrong in writing a book. There is only a puzzle, a question, of exactly what book you’re writing. This process of hearing critique will be a kind of divining rod. You’ll use the knee-jerks you experience to figure out what advice to keep, and what to throw away.

And here is the thing—the stronger you react negatively to something your reader says—the closer they are to a nerve. This doesn’t mean you need to do what they say. But it means your reader is in the vicinity of something that you know, deep in your heart, to be a flaw (or maybe an opportunity) in the manuscript.

That is what you’re hunting for. Those moments of resistance in yourself. If your reader thinks your main character is boring, and you resist that comment, you need to figure out why. If your reader thinks that the end of your book isn’t believable, and you want to shout, “Then you aren’t reading it the right way,” you need to be a witness to your own shouts. Nobody else can tell you how to write your book. But the way you respond to comments can be a roadmap.

Often, I jerk my own knee, shout at my agent, argue my well-reasoned point, and then, hours later call back, sheepish. To say, “I’m sorry I wasn’t listening very well. I don’t think you were exactly right, but I do need to work on that, don’t I?”

Don’t listen to other people. Listen to you listening to other people. You may need to rewind that conversation periodically, and process it in your head, over and over. But you’ll get there. Anyway, you’ll get somewhere.

Writing takes a lot of confidence and energy. Revising takes humility and calm. Good luck finding it!

Yours in words,

Laurel Snyder

Laurel is the author of many books for kids (and a few for adults), including Baxter, the Pig Who Wanted to Be Kosher , Bigger than a Bread Box , and a brand new middle grade novel, Seven Stories Up . She lives in Atlanta. Drop her a line on Twitter!

Top photo by Flickr user abrinsky.