Dealing With The Bully In The Mirror

“Bullying” is a big topic these days.  What often starts out as teasing can quickly blossom into full-blown intimidation. Wikipedia defines this way: “Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively impose domination over others. The behavior is often repeated and habitual.”

Unfortunately, we see this kind of behavior everywhere today—on the schoolyards, in politics, at the grocery store, the cubicle next to yours, even in the pulpit.  I guess a lot of people think the way to get their way is through force and intimidation.

This brings me to the topic of the worst bully I have ever known.  The bully I have in mind has never used force or physical intimidation. Nope, this guy’s tactics are much more cerebral—and much more effective in my opinion.  He always tries to make me think I’m not qualified to do something that I attempt to do.

He tries to talk me out of it with language like, “is that really a wise use of your time?” or “you can go ahead and try that—as long as you don’t mind looking stupid!” Sometimes, he’s told me things that were much more direct and insulting, such as, “You always say you’re going to do this or that, but you never finish anything. You are just full of crap…that’s what you are, full of crap!”

The bully I’m talking about—the worst bully I’ve ever known—is also the worst bully you’ve ever known. The bully is my mind.

A famous comic strip called “Pogo” once said, “We have met the enemy—and he is us!”  I can’t tell you how many times I have allowed my mind to discourage me from doing the things that I wanted to do, or talk me out of doing the things that I needed to do. We all make excuses for not pursuing our dreams, and we try to dress those excuses up in professional clothing to make them seem legitimate. But I’ve discovered that there is no legitimate reason to avoid attempting what you feel you’ve been created to do.

 Stop bullying yourself! It takes courage to stand up to a bully. Courage isn’t something that comes through prayer, fasting, meditation, or self-improvement courses. Courage is generated by our human nature—we all have the capacity to be courageous—but it is ultimately a choice.

Courage doesn’t eliminate fear, or silence the bullies, haters or naysayers (whether they be external or internal).  Courage is simply the decision and corresponding action to do something, in spite of whatever contrary circumstances are against you.

So remember, as you travel on the road to pursue your dreams, you may occasionally step in a pile of crap. It’s going to stink for a while. But just remember that the crap is on your shoe—not in your shoe. Your foot is in your shoe, and as I always say, “the pathway forward always begins with the very next step”!

Take a step towards your dreams today, and as you go on your way, be encouraged!